Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop
by Stuffthingsandotherthings
Summary: What if Santana had met Brittany in college instead of in high school?
1. Chapter 1

What if Santana had met Brittany in college instead of in high school?

Santana Lopez never believed that she could be so comfortable with herself, with her true self, but with Brittany Pierce, it came so naturally.

For years she was trained to watch her every move, as every move was constantly judged by her classmates, by her friends, by her teammates on the Cheerios, and by the eccentric coach of the Cheerios, Sue Sylvester. One wrong move and she could instantly be demoted from Captain, Lead Singer, and Hottest Bitch in school to bottom of the pyramid, background sway-er, and joke of the century, just one wrong glance at the most tempting piece of eye candy in the school and her life could turn into a giant shitshow and a living hell.

She enjoyed hooking up with Puckerman, Sam and just about anyone who else crossed her path in high school but there was never anything more than the immediate physical payout of the interaction. It was more of a game to her, there were never any emotions involved. Unless you count "indifferent" as an emotion, because that's as close as she ever got. She would never dare to admit it to anyone but she always hoped there was more to love than that, there had to be right? Otherwise, why the hell were people always talking about it and writing movies and entire albums about it? What she felt wasn't all that great, she didn't feel anything at all really, other than the far too rare orgasm that one of the guys was able to accidently give her. It was never anything to think twice about.

It never felt natural. She didn't feel safe letting any of these guys see who she was as a person. Her way of dealing with this for a long time, too long really, and of keeping people away was meaningless sex. But as she starting opening herself up to her own emotions and feelings, she started to realize that those boys would never be able to make her feel anything, because it wasn't what she really wanted, it was never what she wanted. She was just too scared to see the truth.

However, largely due to the support of her Glee Club in high school, the time in between high school and college and her first couple of weeks of school at a small, liberal college, Santana was slowly becoming much more comfortable with her sexuality and more accepting of herself than she had been in the past; she wasn't running away from herself anymore, and she was just about willing to admit that she finds women unbelievably sexy and damn near irresistible!

And it only took a single glance at Brittany Pierce at the first university glee club meeting for every single cliché about love at first sight that she had ever heard to rush into her immediate train of thought. She was instantly charmed beyond belief by this girl. She knew there was something exceptional about her before she had even spoken a word to her. The butterflies in her stomach felt more like hummingbirds. She was only certain about one thing and that was that she had to get to know more about her!

It was a few days before the next Glee meeting and Santana was determined to find a song to sing to get Brittany's attention, without being too forward or obvious. She didn't want to scare her but she knew she could impress her with just the right song.

She literally listened to every single song she owned, from the romantic to the silly to the suggestive. She re-listened to all of her favorite songs, hoping something would jump out at her the second time. Nothing fit, nothing was right, and nothing was good enough. The song had to be good enough. After hours of searching she was beyond frustrated, had a horrible headache and was ready to give up. She felt absolutely defeated the day of the meeting, she almost didn't go but told herself it was stupid to be this beat up over something she didn't fully understand.

As Santana walked into the room she saw Brittany talking to a couple of the girls in the group, she had an easy smile on her face and was laughing occasionally, her smile was one of the most breathtaking and memorable things Santana had ever seen. Something caught Brittany's attention, and her brilliant blue eyes were suddenly staring into every inch of Santana's being, and at that moment she knew exactly what to sing. It is a song that her dad used to sing to her mom and her when she was growing up. She remembered the smile her mother used to have as her dad would sing the familiar words; it was the same smile she was hoping to get from Brittany.

The meeting started and as the minutes dragged on Santana grew more and more nervous; she had never sung in front of this group of people before and even though she was confident in her ability she was still insecure about her feelings. Several girls volunteered to sing and everyone was enjoying the new bond that was occurring between the group. It was a fun atmosphere, but one that Santana couldn't fully enjoy because honestly she couldn't stop staring at the flawless back and neck and ears in front of her. She couldn't help but imagine her lips on every inch, an image she found she enjoyed very much as she slipped deep into her own thoughts, completely lost from the rest of the group.

"It's almost time to end this week's meeting; does anyone else want to sing today?"

Santana barely interrupted the words as they were spoken; they brought her back down to Earth from her fantasy and she immediately felt embarrassment flash hot over her cheeks, an unintentional yelp dragged out from her lips. She had to get this song out today; she couldn't possibly wait two more weeks to try to impress this girl.

"I want to sing!" Santana frantically said.

"Alright Santana, we are excited for you to share with us!"

She made her way to the front of the club; her heart was having a field day beating nervously against her chest as she took in the sight in front of her. A little more than a dozen women were in the group, but Santana could only focus on those eyes in the second row that now held her undivided attention.

She had never felt her heart pound like this before, she wasn't quite sure how to react to all the feelings that were happening every time she looked at Brittany, but she took a deep breath and trusted that the words would come when she needed them to…

" _I've just seen a face,_

_I can't forget the time or place_

_Where we just met, she's just the girl for me_

_And I want all the world to see we've met_

As Santana was singing she could picture herself in the backseat of her dad's car when she was 7 years old. One of her dad's favorite songs came on the radio. Normally, Santana was annoyed by her dad's old music but she had always liked this song.

_Had it been another day_

_I might have looked the other way_

_And I'd have never been aware_

_But as it is I dream of her tonight_

Her dad would always sing every single word to her mother like everything in the world depended on every word that came out of his mouth. Her mom always had the most radiant smile during this song, Santana knew it was because her mom felt adored and loved completely.

_Falling, yes I am falling_

_And she keeps calling me back again_

Santana would sometimes hum along in the backseat, and her parents would occasionally glace back at her with a loving smile.

_I have never known_

_The likes of this, I've been alone_

_And I have missed things and kept out of sight_

_But other girls were never quite like this_

Then, her thoughts shifted to her life today. She was finally finding herself, accepting who she really was. It was a scary thought but it was also exciting, because it meant there were so many possibilities and so many new experiences waiting for her.

_Falling, yes I am falling_

_And she keeps calling me back again_

_Falling, yes I am falling_

_And she keeps calling me back again_

Santana thought about the person she was singing for, although, they didn't know this song was directly for them. She hoped Brittany would be intrigued. She was confused by her need know and impress this girl. She knew nothing about her except that she was different, special.

_I've just seen a face_

_I can't forget the time or place_

_Where we just met, she's just the girl for me_

_And I want all the world to see we've met_

Finally, Santana thought about her future and what she hoped was to come. She thought about a rewarding life with a loving family and someone special to share everything with. This thought was surprisingly peaceful for Santana. She knew one day she would feel at home.

_Falling, yes I am falling_

_And she keeps calling me back again_

_Falling, yes I am falling_

_And she keeps calling me back again_

_Falling, yes I am falling_

_And she keeps calling me back again"_

Santana opened her eyes as she finished the last words of the song. She looked around the room, kind of embarrassed that she had been so lost in her words and thoughts, but as she saw Brittany captivated on her every move she knew she picked the right song. She couldn't help but smile to herself as she walked back to her seat.

Santana was gathering her things, getting ready to walk back to her dorm room to relax and study when she felt the lightest tap on her shoulder, she wasn't even sure she felt it, but when she turned around Brittany was standing shyly in front of her. They both hesitated for a moment before either of them said anything.

"You have an amazing voice. I didn't want the song to end." Brittany was still shy and quietly spoke the words.

Santana couldn't help the pink blush from crawling over her cheekbones, "Th-thank you."

They stood in the middle of the room awkwardly both unsure of what to do next.

"Do you want to go get coffee or something? If you are free, I mean." Santana blurted out the words, she didn't mean to but she did before she could stop herself. She immediately felt stupid, why would this beautiful girl want to spend time with her just because she liked her song?

"I'm free..."

It's all Brittany said and they started walking towards the door together.

They filled the time as they walked to Hospitality Café, a few blocks away, with small talk about how their day was going, but Santana was finding it hard to focus on Brittany's words; there was something about Brittany that was completely tripping her up, in every sense of the phrase. She was nervous and bashful and hesitant. She didn't understand why, she had no reason to be intimidated and yet her stomach was doing some Olympic quality somersaults. She was definitely not acting like her typical badass, Lima Heights self. People at McKinley would be laughing at Santana right now instead of fearing her vicious words like they used to do. She honestly didn't know this version of herself.

She took a deep breath as she held the door open for Brittany trying to compose herself. Brittany gave her a little smirk and thanked her as she passed.

Santana ordered a Café con Leche and asked Brittany what she would like, she ordered her a small Caramel Frappe, which Santana thought was super adorable.

They found a table outside in the sun, both wanting to enjoy the beautiful, warm autumn afternoon.

It was almost two hours later when she said goodbye to Brittany and left the coffee shop for her dorm. The sun was barely still peaking over the horizon, creating a deep pink hue, which matched Santana's mood perfectly.

Once she settled into her room she sat at her desk with her Statistical Methods textbook and notes, trying to study for her exam the following week. She re-read the same paragraph about 7 times and couldn't quote one word from it. She only had one thing on her mind, electric blue eyes and the interesting girl they belonged to. It had only been about an hour since she left the coffee shop but she was reciting parts of their conversation over and over. She knew trying to study was a waste of time and that she was going to have a long night, restless night.

Santana was an over thinker, she analyzed every possible outcome to every situation most of the time, which is why inviting Brittany to get coffee in the first place was kind of a shock but she couldn't have planned a better time for her spontaneous side to appear.

Once they sat down with their coffee the girls were able to relax a little and they found that conversation came surprisingly easy and was actually very comfortable for both of them.

Santana had learned that Brittany was also a freshman but started school during the summer semester so she was already fairly comfortable getting around the small campus. She lived just off campus with a couple of friends as opposed to in a dorm, which Santana was extremely jealous about. She was an Education major but unsure if she wanted to go into Art Education or general Elementary Education, which was an item to add to the adorable list along with her coffee order. She has a younger sister named Lindsey, who she seems very fond of and a cat named Lord Tubbington who she brought to school with her and who she is definitely fond of. She was in the glee club in high school and loves to dance. She also learned that the song she chose was a favorite of Brittany's dad as well and one he always played on family road trips. This information made Santana's heart fill with joy and excitement, knowing that she had in fact picked the perfect song.

Santana was completely overwhelmed thinking about Brittany, she felt like they created such a strong connection so quickly and Santana was unsure about it. She just met this girl a couple of weeks ago and just had a real conversation with her for the first time today, but she wanted to spend all of her time with her, she wanted to know everything about her and learn all of her habits and mannerisms. She wanted this person in her life and it was a need that Santana had never felt before. It scared the shit out of her. She didn't know exactly what she wanted from Brittany but she knew she wanted the opportunity to find out.

It was Thursday afternoon, two days after having coffee with Brittany, as Santana was leaving her English Composition class. She hated that class and was glad that she was done with it for the week. Her thoughts had been almost entirely consumed by Brittany and that made her care even less about the Edgar Allen Poe poem synopsis that was due next Tuesday.

She checked her phone before heading to get a late lunch when she saw,

**New Message: Brittany Pierce**

Her heart almost leapt out of her chest. She had wanted to send her a message, she had written several that she quickly erased; she had picked up her phone at least two dozen times to call Brittany but was never able to actually press the call button, so she was relieved that Brittany decided to send her a message. Santana was pretty positive she wouldn't have ever worked up enough nerve to call Brittany on her own.

"Hey Santana! What are you doing tomorrow?"

She took an uneasy breath before she thought about how to respond. The first thing that came to mind was to just respond with "NOTHING!" But that was ridiculous and sounded desperate and that is not how Santana wanted to come across to Brittany.

"Hey. I don't have any Friday classes, so I'm pretty open. What do you have in mind?"

Santana knew not having any Friday classes on her schedule was the best decision she had ever made.

"Brunch, 10:30, Hospitality Café? "

"Sounds great, I'll see you tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

Even though she is _not_ a morning person Santana woke up about 45 minutes earlier than she normally would have. She changed her outfit no less than 8 times, fixed her hair, put it up, then back down, back up and then fixed it again. She rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror, thinking about how ridiculous she was being. But the knowledge that she was being unreasonable didn't stop the hummingbirds from returning to her stomach as she walked across campus to Hospitality Café.

She wasn't used to feeling like this as she was wandering down the sidewalk, she thought about when she used to go out with the guys in high school. Although she never left the house looking less than fantastic, she would have never woken up so early and tried on every item in her wardrobe. She would have never cared about how her hair looked because the guys were too stupid to notice, they only ever noticed her boobs. Most of the time she didn't have to worry about any of this because she would just wear her Cheerios uniform and put her hair in a ponytail which it made it much easier to get away with not caring as much as she always thought she should.

This wasn't even a date. Santana wasn't out to the glee club, it hadn't really come up and it's not like she was ready to be screaming about her sexual preferences from rooftops. She had no idea if Brittany knew that she was flirting with a slight infatuation. Hell, who was she kidding, Brittany was the only thing she could think about. She was already past infatuation.

She arrived a few minutes early, asked for a table outside and ordered herself a cup of coffee.

She was nervously checking the clock on her phone just about every 30 seconds. 10:30 passed, then 10:35. At 10:40 she couldn't help but to get nervous. What if Brittany didn't show up, what if she started to get uncomfortable around Santana and this was her way of letting her know to back off, what if she forgot, Santana never really thought she could be considered forgettable, but she had never met anyone like Brittany before either.

Santana suddenly felt extremely vulnerable sitting at a table by herself as a constant stream of students were passing by the little café. She was so excited about seeing Brittany again and didn't know how she would handle it if Brittany broke the plans they had made.

When all of these thoughts were swirling in her head she caught a quick glimpse of a long blonde ponytail running around the corner. She quickly recognized that the person wearing the nervous expression was Brittany and she was searching for Santana. When Brittany spotted her sitting at the same table they were at the other day she slowed down and a grateful smile spread wide across her face.

"I am so sorry! I'm such a terrible person, I feel so bad! I can't believe I'm late and I'm the one who invited you!"

Santana couldn't help but let out a light-hearted laugh. All of the concern and stress she was feeling just moments ago had completely disappeared. Brittany was even more adorable than Santana remembered her being a couple of days ago. She smiled and shook her head at the thought because she didn't think it was humanly possible for that to be true.

"Brittany, calm down. You're not a terrible person, just late. It's ok."

Santana noticed as Brittany let out a breath that she had been holding in and her body visibly relaxed as she took a seat across from Santana.

Santana ordered another cup of coffee and an egg white omelet with spinach, mushrooms and roasted peppers. Brittany gave her a funny look before she ordered Chocolate Chip Pancakes with whipped cream, extra bacon and a Caramel Frappe. They both laughed as the waitress walked away.

When Santana was with Brittany she had the most conflicting feelings, her heart was always racing, like it just couldn't possibly keep up with all the feelings her body was creating, but at the same time she was so comfortable, like she had known Brittany for years. She had never experienced anything like it before and she was both terrified and intrigued by the newness of the feeling.

Brittany asked Santana about how her classes were this week. Santana quickly thought about her classes the past two days, and the only thing she could remember was the image of Brittany's eyes, Brittany's voice and the easy smile she had seen during the Glee meeting on Tuesday. There is no way she was about to confess these thoughts to her.

"They were ok, I'm just glad I'm done with them for the week."

When a questioning look was thrown in Santana's direction she felt the need to elaborate.

"It's not that I don't like school, I'm just not sure what I plan on majoring in yet, so I'm finding it kind of difficult to get too excited right now. I'd rather have my teeth removed than sit through a couple of my classes but so far I'm glad I picked this school and my other classes are kind of interesting…" She felt like she was rambling so Santana stopped talking and looked up at Brittany.

Brittany nodded and looked like she was about to comment when her eyes got wide and she exuded pure excitement, Santana turned to see the waitress arriving with their food. She was kind of relieved that the conversation was interrupted because Santana was insecure about the fact that she didn't know what she wanted to do yet. She hated not having a purpose and a solid goal for her future in mind.

"I love pancakes! I think it's the happiest food in the entire world!" Brittany nearly cried as she unwrapped her silverware. This made Santana smile and she made sure to make a mental note of this information.

Both girls ate and continued with small talk about classes, and how nice the weather has been recently and about various events around campus.

"So what was your glee club like in high school?"

Brittany asked this with genuine interest and even though it was a topic Santana didn't like to talk about much in high school she had joined the university glee club, so obviously, it was something that she enjoyed.

"It was pretty cool; it was a good group of people even though they drove me crazy most of the time. We were not a popular group at my school, and at least 2 of us got slushied a day on average. The jocks and cheerleaders were the only people with any pull at McKinley, I was lucky to be on the Cheerios as well so I didn't get as much crap as some people did. We made it to nationals my junior and senior year which was really exciting."

"We made it to nationals last year too, what was the name of your group?"

"The New Directions." Santana had always hated that name and thought back to her short-lived time with the Troubletones affectionately.

"I remember them! You were so good, I remember being nervous to go on after you."

"Really?" Santana's nose scrunched up and her voice kind of shrieked a little bit with her reply. "Thanks."

After finishing their meal and sitting lazily for a few minutes, they paid their bills and stood up to leave the café.

"What are your plans for today?"

"Nothing specific, I was planning on studying but I have all weekend to do that." Santana responded with an honest smile, hoping Brittany wanted to spend more time together.

"Want to walk around for a while?"

"Sure!"

The girls walked around the outskirts of campus rotating between comfortable silences, conversation and laughter. After about twenty minutes they arrived at the fountain in the middle of campus.

"This is my favorite place on campus. Even though there is so much going on around us, it is always so peaceful to just rest here." Brittany explained, although honestly, she hadn't really intended to lead them to the focal point of the beautiful campus, they ended up there out of habit more than anything.

"I haven't really thought about it much." Santana was truthful as she considered the thought. "I can see how it could be pretty relaxing I guess." She followed Brittany's lead and took a seat on the grass facing the fountain.

They sat for a while just enjoying an opportunity to relax among the chaos. Santana sat contemplating part of their conversation earlier and she couldn't help but to think out loud.

"If you and I were both at Nationals last year and you saw the New Directions perform, it's possible that we have already met, isn't it? What are the chances that we not only ended up at the same school but in the glee club together?" It was rare that she was this forward with anyone much less someone she just met. But it didn't feel uncomfortable for her. "What are the chances that we would become friends?" Her voice became softer and quieter as she finished the last sentence.

Somehow Brittany knew Santana wasn't really looking for an answer, but the fact that they had at least crossed paths in the past was a thought that had already occurred to her and she was amused that Santana was just now running through it.

"Who knows, maybe its fate." Brittany laughed softly as she said this but the words still made Santana's hopes soar. Maybe there was a chance that Brittany had similar feelings. She was able to force a little laugh to try to match Brittany's but it sent her thoughts into overdrive. "Fate will find a way." Brittany got a little more serious as she said, "It's one of my favorite quotes."

They sat by the fountain together all afternoon, Santana's affection growing with every second that passed. She had to remind herself more than once that she was not on a date and fought the urges to grab Brittany's hand or show any physical affection with every ounce of willpower in her body. The walls that she built around herself and her feelings were usually so unreasonably large but she couldn't even put up a speed bump when she was with Brittany. She felt like she would tell Brittany anything she wanted to know, like she was no longer in control of herself.

After what felt like days Brittany sat up and turned to Santana.

"Why don't we go to my apartment, we could watch a movie and order pizza or something?"

"Sounds great Britt." Santana quickly realized that she used a nickname instead of Brittany's full name. Was it too early for that? Was it awkward for her to do that? She turned her face the other way so Brittany couldn't see that she was blushing, but when she turned back to face Brittany it looked like she hadn't even noticed.

Brittany's apartment was about half a mile away from the middle of campus. It was an old house that had been turned into 4 apartments. Brittany's was the left apartment on the bottom floor. It was amazing, huge beautiful windows, arches leading you from the living room into the kitchen and dining space and an old fireplace in the middle of the living room. The furniture was an obvious mixture of the roommates, but it felt very cozy.

The girls argued playfully about which movie they should watch. They finally settled on Benny and Joon, one of Brittany's favorite movies. Santana had never seen it before but Brittany was so enthusiastic about the idea of watching it and that was enough for her to finally cave in and agree. Before they started their featured presentation they ordered a veggie pizza, no olives, from the local pizza shop around the corner, Roberta's Pizzeria.

They settled onto the couch together, two slices each and Brittany went to put the movie in the dvd player.

"You know, I thought it was going to be a terrible weekend, but I'm kind of glad that Kyle cancelled our plans again, I've had so much fun with you today, I've barely even thought about him!"

Santana felt her body stiffen suddenly. She tried to compose herself before she responded.

"Who is Kyle?"

"Oh, Kyle is my boyfriend, we've been together since high school; he goes to school about 3 hours away. He was supposed to visit me this weekend but got caught up with some Fraternity pledge event, same as last weekend." Brittany was obviously upset about her plans being broken two weekends in a row and it broke Santana's heart to think about it. Who was stupid enough to pass on spending time with this girl? "I can't believe I haven't told you about him! I guess I just didn't want to think about it."

As the movie started Santana felt like her heart was going to explode. She knew this was the most realistic outcome but that didn't mean she wasn't disappointed that Brittany had a boyfriend. It didn't make it hurt any less. But she also couldn't ignore the fact that she felt like she had met the most important person to ever come into her life. There was such an easy connection between them and as much as Santana would prefer to turn on her familiar "fight or flight" mode and just get the hell out of there she knew she couldn't do that to Brittany. It wouldn't be fair, Brittany didn't do anything wrong.

Brittany was enjoying the movie, reciting some of the lines with the actors on screen, and laughing as Johnny Depp's character was playing with his dinner rolls at the diner or putting on a show at the park. She was completely oblivious to the emotional turmoil that Santana was struggling with.

Santana did the best she could to keep herself together as she said goodbye to Brittany and walked to the front door of the building, but as soon as she stepped outside she let go of all the feelings she had been holding back and cried silently to herself as she walked back to her dorm.

As Santana was leaving Brittany looked out her window at her new friend, a girl who she had spent the entire day with, a day she thought would be miserable but ended up being one of the best in her recent memory. Santana's body was shaking, and when the moonlight reflected off of Santana's face Brittany noticed the teardrops falling over her cheek and running down her chin. She walked out of sight and left Brittany sitting in her living room alone with a million questions about what she had just seen.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few days Santana received a few text messages from Brittany,

"_What's Up? Want to hang out today?"_

"_I'm going to go study by the fountain on campus, wanna join?"_

"_Coffee?"_

"_Is everything okay?"_

Santana didn't respond. She knew that it may hurt Brittany's feelings and that it wasn't necessarily fair to her but she had to sort out her feelings and all of the muddled thoughts that were going on in her head before she could see Brittany again. The thing that had her falling to pieces was also the one thing that was holding her together. Too many feelings were happening too quickly and she didn't know how to put them together to make sense.

When Brittany mentioned so casually that she had a boyfriend it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, Santana thought she would suffocate sitting through that movie. When she left Brittany's apartment she felt broken, like someone had twisted everything inside of her together, creating an empty mass from the shell where her now fragmented heart used to rest, then spent hours trying to snap it in half, leaving her almost beyond repair. She felt ridiculous because she barely knew this girl, but that wasn't really true. She hadn't known her for long but she knew Brittany. She had never experienced a connection like this, Brittany is the person she has been waiting for, and therefore, it felt like she's known her her entire life. She felt foolish for not putting up her walls like she always does, she tried, but she simply couldn't around Brittany. Brittany had the ability to knock through any of her walls with a single glance. So after a while, fighting it becomes pointless.

Over the course of the next week she waivered back and forth about what to do, how she felt, how she thought she should feel, what she thought she should do. Every thought she had about her predicament was conflicting and it was absolutely exhausting. It felt like she was driving around an unfamiliar town and she kept taking wrong turn after wrong turn. She was starting to wish that she had missed this exit ramp altogether. She only had one foot in so to speak; she still had time to leave Glee club and try to forget about Brittany. It might be easier than jumping into this friendship with two feet in and being forced to fight these emotions on a constant basis.

She thought leaving high school after graduation would relinquish some of these feelings. She had struggled to come to terms with herself for years and now that she was finally heading in the right direction she refused to push herself back into that dark place where she used to live. She wasn't really that bitch that everyone knew in high school, it was her defense, sure, but it wasn't who she was. She liked who she was becoming and even though this was extremely painful, she just couldn't take those steps back.

She knew she wanted Brittany, like wanted wanted Brittany. There was absolutely no way to deny that. Santana had spent the last 4 years bored with her life and denying who she really was. But with Brittany every single thing that happened around her was fascinating, she felt like she was seeing everything through new eyes. Brittany's point of view was so unique and she had something interesting to say about the most average things in life. It was something that Santana couldn't get enough of.

The more she thought about the situation, the clearer her decision was becoming. Yes, she had feelings for Brittany, big, undeniable, somewhat scary feelings but one way or another she wanted the privilege of having Brittany in her life. It was the most obvious thing in the entire world. She needed to push her pride aside, something that she has never been good at, and be grateful about finding such a special person in an unexpected place.

Santana wasn't quite sure what to expect from Brittany, she knew Brittany might have some questions but after a full week she was ready to try to move forward.

"_Hey Brittany, I've had a really long week, I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you. Do you want to get coffee after Glee this week?"_

She sat nervously, a huge knot building in her stomach as the time passed. She was driving herself crazy just sitting in her dorm room so she decided to get dressed and walk around campus; she left her phone behind, knowing it would be counterproductive if she brought it with her. She walked right past Hospitality Café, it wasn't an option right now, even though coffee sounded amazing. She walked past the fountain and eventually made her way off of campus. She began wandering the streets of the small town. She had been in school for over a month but still hadn't really explored much further than campus.

The main street was overflowing with small locally owned shops and restaurants, and the sidewalks were lined with little lamp posts and benches. It was more charming than she remembered, she loved it. She discovered some cute shops and made a mental note to come back soon, under different circumstances. She was surprised to find how relaxing the walk was. It was a nice escape from herself, something she desperately needed after the past week.

When she got back to her room she purposely ignored her phone for as long as she could. She opened her computer and checked her emails. She opened her Stat book to start studying. But she knew she wasn't even fooling herself, after only 15 minutes had passed she grabbed her phone.

**New Message: Brittany Pierce**

"_Hey! I'm so happy to hear from you, I was getting worried! I would love to hang out after the meeting!" _

That's it? No questions? No need for any explanations after she had dismissed Brittany all week?

Santana didn't know how to feel about that. Was she a little relieved? Of course, but she couldn't help but wonder why Brittany wasn't at all curious about where she had been all week. Did she not care or was she just that forgiving of a person? Either way Santana was happy that she still wanted to spend time together. Now she needed to make it through the weekend, 3 classes and what was sure to be one excruciatingly long Glee meeting.

* * *

><p>Tuesday afternoon, after their meeting Santana and Brittany walked to the café together. Santana was slightly surprised about how good it felt to see Brittany again. It was like a weight had been sitting on her chest for the past week and now that she was with Brittany again, she could finally breath normally. So much of her anxiety was put to rest by simply being around Brittany.<p>

They ordered their coffee and claimed their little table outside. It was almost getting too cold to sit outside but today it felt great. Crisp, clean air with a slight chill to it hinting that autumn was nearing the end. Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away and Santana was looking forward to the short break from school.

About halfway through her coffee Santana noticed that Brittany was acting distant today. Immediate panic set in.

"Is everything ok? I really am sorry about this week, I feel terrible, it's just…"

"No, no. You didn't do anything wrong!" Brittany thankfully interrupted her, because honestly Santana didn't really know where she was going with her apology. "I went to visit Kyle this weekend. I decided to surprise him since he has been too busy to make it down here."

"Oh. Did something happen?" Santana was instantly concerned. The idea of something bad happening to Brittany killed her.

"I mean, nothing happened really, I'm probably overreacting. He wasn't necessarily thrilled that I showed up unannounced. He had Fraternity things all weekend so I just sat in his dorm half the time. The other half was awkward between us. I don't understand, we used to be so close and now he doesn't even seem like the same person."

"Brittany, I'm sorry. And you're not overreacting. You have every right to be feeling whatever you need to feel. I would be thrilled if someone as great as you came to visit me, I think I would feel like the most special person in the world!"

Brittany looked at Santana shyly, with a surprised but grateful expression, " I'm really glad you're here."

* * *

><p>Santana spent as much time with Brittany as possible over the next couple of weeks. They had their Friday morning brunch at Hospitality Café, studied by the fountain, explored the main street shops and restaurants together and had a couple more movie nights at Brittany's apartment. She was loving every second that she was spending with Brittany, she had never built a friendship this strong so quick.<p>

Even though her heart still raced and the hummingbirds still went crazy in her stomach when she was with Brittany, she was doing her best to learn how to control those feelings and appreciate the relationship they had built.

Santana was sitting with Brittany enjoying her coffee after the last Glee meeting before Thanksgiving break, she had been trying not to think about the break because even though she was excited for the few days off she didn't know what she was going to do. She was planning on going home but her parents told her the week before that they made plans to go out of town for the week. She wasn't really looking forward to being home alone during the holiday.

"What are you doing next weekend?" Brittany questioned as she took another sip of her beverage.

"I don't know. I might just stay here."

"What? You're not going home?"

"Maybe, but my parents won't be there so I don't know if it's worth the trip."

"You should come to my house! Oh, you have to. It would be so much fun!"

Santana gave Brittany a hesitant look, "Shouldn't you check first? I don't want to intrude."

"Oh, please! My parents would love to meet you. I've told them so much about you!"

"Really? If you're sure they wouldn't mind, it _would_ be fun I guess."

Brittany starting jumping up and down, not holding back her enthusiasm. She leapt towards Santana and encompassed her with a hug. That hug warmed every inch of Santana, it made her feel like she could fly. It was one of the best feelings she had ever experienced.

* * *

><p>The day before Thanksgiving Brittany picked Santana up from her dorm room, they loaded Santana's bags into the trunk and made a stop at a gas station down the street to load up on gas, drinks and snacks before settling in for the two and a half hour drive.<p>

They took turns picking music for the drive. First Santana put on Amy Winehouse and sang along to every single lyric, Brittany chose Lady Gaga, and then the girls agreed on Michael Jackson for the final portion of the drive. The last hour was one huge dance party with laughing fits about every 5 minutes. A couple times Brittany was laughing so hard she almost had to pull over so she wouldn't drive off the road.

Santana was so glad she agreed to go with Brittany for the break. She hadn't had this much fun in a long time and they hadn't even made it to Brittany's parents' house yet.

* * *

><p>Brittany's dad is a recently retired Air Force colonel. He is a tall and very handsome man with a warm smile; it was unmistakable that Brittany got her smile from him. He greeted Santana with a big hug and a light chuckle. Her mom was a petite and shy but friendly woman with strong blue eyes that could stop anyone in their tracks. Brittany's younger sister, Lindsey, was very excited to meet Santana but was definitely on the shy side like their mother. She had blonde hair like her sister and hazel eyes. She was going to be just as beautiful as Brittany when she got older. All four members of the Pierce family were so welcoming to Santana. They treated her like part of the family from the second they opened the front door.<p>

Thanksgiving morning the girls woke up to an elaborate breakfast that Mrs. Pierce had prepared for the family. Blueberry Pancakes, bacon, homemade biscuits, fresh fruit, fresh squeezed orange juice and a newly brewed pot of coffee.

They settled around the table for the first meal of the holiday.

"Brittany, where's Kyle?" Brittany's mom asked this with a fond smile on her face.

Santana did not have a matching smile. She hadn't considered the fact that she would probably meet Brittany's boyfriend during this trip and she suddenly felt sick at the thought of it.

"He's supposed to be coming over later, he said around 2."

So there it was. Santana would officially meet Kyle this afternoon. If it had to happen, and she really wished that it didn't, she might as well get this over with.

They finished breakfast, went up to Brittany's room and turned on the TV. They flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch while they enjoyed their food comas. There was a Harry Potter marathon on one of the channels, Santana was embarrassed to admit it but she loved these movies, so she was happy to agree to watch them.

Santana woke up and looked at the clock on her phone, 3:18. She looked over at Brittany who was still passed out in the bed next to her, she gently nudged her and Brittany slowly opened her eyes and rolled over.

"What time is it?" She groaned as she stretched, trying to wake herself up from the unintentional nap they had taken.

"It's about 3:20!"

"Shit! Kyle!" Brittany hurried to check her phone. Her face instantly dropped and her eyes filled with tears.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

Brittany showed Santana her phone and Santana read the message that she had received.

_Hey, can't make it today. _

Santana was immediately furious. She didn't want to show it because it might hurt Brittany even more but she hated this guy. She didn't know him but she absolutely hated him. How could someone keep hurting Brittany over and over again? How could someone not value the most beautiful person in the world?

"Brittany. I'm so sorry." She wanted to say so much more but was being as careful as possible with her choice of words. The last thing she wanted to do was make Brittany feel worse.

Brittany couldn't hold the tears back anymore. Santana sat there nervously, not quite sure what to do to comfort her friend.

After a few minutes Brittany got up off the bed and walked into her bathroom. She closed the door and left Santana alone and very unsure of what to do with herself. Should she leave? Should she say something? Should she go and check on her?

Several more minutes passed and Brittany came out of the bathroom. She had stopped crying and washed her face to try to eliminate all signs that she had been upset in the first place.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to cry, I'm just getting so frustrated with him!"

"You don't have to apologize to me Brittany. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?"

"Well…maybe if you..."

Before Brittany could finish the thought her mom called the girls to dinner, leaving Santana anxiously wondering what Brittany was going to say.

* * *

><p>The dinner was just as delicious as breakfast had been, but it was exponentially more awkward than Santana could have imagined. She knew Brittany was heartbroken, but was doing everything she could to try to hide it from her family. All Santana wanted to do was fix what Kyle had broken and do anything in her power to put a genuine smile back on Brittany's face.<p>

Once dinner was over, the girls helped Brittany's mom clean up and then everyone settled in to the living room to watch a movie.

It was a Pierce family tradition to watch The Wizard of Oz together every year after Thanksgiving dinner.

After the extremely long trip to the Emerald City was finally over Santana was glad that Brittany motioned for Santana to go back upstairs to her bedroom. She really enjoyed being around Brittany's family but she couldn't focus on anything other than if Brittany was ok.

The girls got ready for bed without exchanging too many words, both of them tiptoeing around what had happened earlier.

Santana looked at Brittany, really looked at her for the first time since the movie ended and noticed how sad she truly was.

"Britt. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I mean, I will be."

Santana wasn't sure what else to say, there wasn't much that she could say that could help her feel better.

They both climbed into bed and said goodnight. But Santana couldn't sleep. She lay awake, her heart hurting for the girl lying next to her. Brittany deserved so much better than Kyle, she deserved someone who would look at her with nothing but love and adoration in their eyes, someone who would give her the world, and could appreciate every bit of her. Her charm, her beauty, her intelligence, her wit. She deserved everything good in the world.

Suddenly Santana felt the bed shaking gently, all of the thoughts that were screaming in her head came to a halt. Brittany was crying next to her.

Santana couldn't take it anymore, it was killing her.

She hesitantly moved over, "Brittany?"

There was no response, so Santana put her arm around Brittany's stomach and held her from behind. Brittany relaxed into her arms and moved closer, obviously grateful for the comfort.

Brittany's crying stopped and her breathing evened out again but she didn't pull away from Santana, so Santana tightened her hold a little.

They stayed like that for a while until Brittany turned around to face Santana.

"Thank you. That was perfect, exactly what I needed."

Brittany leaned over and kissed Santana on the cheek. She moved back so she could look Santana in the eyes. Only a second passed before Brittany leaned back in and gave Santana a quick kiss on her lips. She settled into Santana's arms, resting against her chest, and fell asleep within a couple of minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

When Santana woke up the next morning she was still holding Brittany and Brittany was still snuggled against her just as close as she had been the night before.

Santana couldn't help but let a little smile creep across her face. She hated the circumstances that lead them to this position but she loved being able to hold Brittany and be a support system for her. She wished they could stay like this forever, but Santana knew as soon as Brittany woke up reality would continue.

Brittany yawned and when she opened her eyes they quickly met Santana's, "Good morning."

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I think I am. Thank you for being here for me."

"Of course." Santana wanted to respond by saying that it was the only place that she wanted to be. In fact, she came dangerously close to saying it but was able to hold herself back. She was always holding herself back around Brittany. This was new territory for her. She was used to saying whatever came to mind because she just didn't care usually but she was terrified of saying the wrong thing to her. She didn't want to push Brittany away.

The girls lay in bed for the majority of the morning and into the afternoon watching movies and just enjoying each other's company. It was a lazy Friday and they were relishing in being away from school and being able to relax before finals.

Santana was relishing in the opportunity to spend all day in bed with Brittany.

There was a light knock on Brittany's door and she got up to answer it. Her mother was standing there. She told her someone was here to see her. Santana couldn't hear everything but she saw Brittany's body tense.

"I'll be right back."

Before Santana could say anything Brittany turned and started walking downstairs.

About 25 minutes had passed and Santana started to get anxious and if she was honest, very curious. She decided to go downstairs with the excuse that she was thirsty and wanted some water so she could check out what was happening.

She cautiously opened the door to Brittany's room and made her way to the stairs. She slowed down as soon as she heard Brittany's voice, it sounded heavy and sad. She looked over the railing and into the living room, Brittany was sitting on the couch across from someone, but Santana couldn't see who it was.

Santana caught Brittany's attention and waited to see if she was intruding, Brittany gave her a quick and barely noticeable nod encouraging her. When she was finally at the bottom of the steps she looked to see who Brittany was talking to.

Her heart dropped.

Sitting across from Brittany was a 6'2" guy with clean cut light brown hair, green eyes, a strong jaw line and a muscular, fit build.

He was over 24 hours late, but Kyle had come to see Brittany.

Brittany made an attempt to introduce the two but neither heard her because they were currently enthralled in a rather unfriendly stare down. They were both unbelievably stubborn individuals and they both cared about Brittany in their own ways. Kyle had been with Brittany for over two years now, so naturally he did care about her. Santana had only been in Brittany's life for about 2 months but she would do anything for her, she cared about her more than anyone else in her life.

Normally, Santana would never be the type to back down to a guy like Kyle, or anyone for that matter, but for Brittany's sake she decided to be the first one to drop the over dramatic struggle for dominance.

"Hi Kyle. Brittany has told me _so_ much about you. It's so nice of you to stop by."

Brittany's jaw dropped a little bit but there was the slightest hint of a smile, Santana was relieved that she hadn't crossed the line.

Kyle rolled his eyes, "Brittany and I were trying to talk, so if you don't mind…"

Santana leaned closer to Brittany and whispered, "Are you ok?"

Brittany nodded, Santana gently squeezed her hand as she walked into the kitchen to let them finish talking.

* * *

><p>Another 15 minutes passed when Santana heard the front door open and then close. When Brittany walked into the kitchen, she looked emotionally exhausted.<p>

Santana stood up and Brittany walked right into her arms. Seeking comfort from Santana seemed like the most natural thing to do.

Santana held her until she pulled back, and then grabbed Brittany's hand to lead them upstairs. Brittany followed without any protest, but Santana didn't know if she was going to feel like talking or not.

Brittany gave Santana a weak smile and sat in silence with the lightest hint of tension starting to fog the room.

"He came to apologize."

"Did you accept it?"

"Yes." Brittany looked away from Santana as she answered, she knew that single word might weigh heavily on Santana.

"Brittany…."

"Santana, he was really sorry. He said he feels really bad that he has been so busy but that after finals since we're both going to be home we will have a lot of time to spend together. He said he misses me and wants a chance to make it up to me. We've been together for over two years, I owe him another chance!"

"No Brittany, you don't owe him anything, you owe yourself the chance to be happy and he has done nothing these past two months other than make you feel terrible. You don't deserve that!"

"Santana, please. Don't be upset, I want to give him another chance, he's been busy, I love him."

Santana couldn't argue with her after she said those words. It was too painful to risk her saying something else like that.

"Is it ok if I go take a shower?" She had to think of a way to give herself time to think and calm down, this was the first thing that came to mind.

"Sure."

As Santana stepped into the steaming hot water cascading from the shower head her entire body collapsed, she caught herself against the wall. She wasn't prepared for this. She didn't know what to do. Yes, she did. She needed to be there for Brittany, but who was going to be there for her when things got too difficult?

* * *

><p>The ride home had a much different feel from the ride there. There was little conversation, the music was quiet and there was noticeable tension between the two of them. This was the most uncomfortable their friendship had ever been.<p>

After about two hours Brittany finally turned to Santana.

"I don't understand why you are so upset. Shouldn't you be happy for me? I mean, Kyle came to apologize and we're going to work things out."

Santana took the time to sort out her thoughts and decide what she should and shouldn't say.

"I just want you to be happy Brittany, I don't want him to keep hurting you, but if you are happy than I am happy for you." She took the deepest breath she could ever remember taking and held it in trying to summon the courage she needed to say what she wanted to say. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Of course, you can tell me anything."

"I don't really know how to say this, because I don't want you to feel betrayed or anything and I don't want it to ruin our friendship, I really care about you and our friendship is so important to me."

"Santana, you don't need to be worried, you're friendship is really important to me too. Just tell me." Brittany gave Santana an encouraging smile, which only made it more difficult for Santana to continue.

"Brittany…I'm..I'm a lesbian." She stopped, she couldn't believe she actually just said those words. It was the first time she had said it to someone who wasn't in her family or in the Glee club.

"That's all. Santana, thank you for being honest with me but I don't care who you love, you are who you are and I care about you."

"That's not all actually." She paused again. Every thought, feeling, movement, every single thing Santana was experiencing right now was strained. She thought she might just shatter if she didn't say the last part. But she also thought that her whole world could crumble apart if she did say it. "I love you. I've been falling in love with you from the first moment I saw you."

She waited a second before she continued, trying to gage Brittany's reaction.

"That's why I hate seeing you get hurt over and over again, that's why I hate that Kyle said he's going to change, I'm so afraid of him hurting you. You deserve so much better Brittany. I hope you know that. You're the most amazing person I've ever met and more than anything in the world I just want to see you happy."

They sat in silence. It felt like two lifetimes had passed but after 5 minutes Brittany finally looked at Santana.

"Do you really love me?"

"Yes."

"That's not going to ruin our friendship. You have been so wonderful to me, and have become my best friend in only a couple of months. I love you too Santana, you are so important to me. But I'm with Kyle. And I hope _that_ won't ruin our friendship because I want you in my life."'

* * *

><p>Santana and Brittany's friendship continued more or less as it had before the trip to Brittany's parents' house. It still wasn't easy for Santana but everything was out on the table, she couldn't turn back now and there wasn't anything else she could do about the situation.<p>

She just wanted to be there for Brittany and be with Brittany in any way she could.

One Friday morning Santana was early for their morning brunch. She sat at a table inside by the window, now too cold to take their usual seats outside. She opened up a book to start studying, finals were only 2 weeks away and she was already in panic mode about them.

"Um..hi. Is this seat taken?"

Santana smiled, expecting to see Brittany looking down at her, but she was surprised to see an absolutely gorgeous girl smiling at her. She was holding two cups of coffee in her hands.

"My friend should be here any minute but you're welcome to sit down until she gets here."

Santana hoped that didn't sound too bitchy but she wasn't really sure what was happening or how to act in this situation, usually when she was sitting by herself people just left her alone.

The girl held out a coffee for Santana, "Grande Café con Leche right? That's what the barista told me you usually order."

"Yeah, it is. Thank you." This girl now had Santana's attention. She was intrigued.

"I'm Emily. I've seen you in here before and I just couldn't resist coming over this time for some reason."

"I'm Santana." Santana smiled shyly but with a hint of false confidence.

"So is this friend that's coming to meet you your girlfriend?"

"Wait…how…how did you know that I'm gay?" Santana whispered, slightly horrified.

Emily laughed lightly, Santana was unsure how to feel about everything that was happening but that didn't stop her from noticing how sexy the laugh was.

"I just assumed, based on the way that I've seen you look at your friend, and honestly, it was a little bit of wishful thinking on my part, I didn't know for sure."

"Oh, ok. And no, she's not my girlfriend."

A flirtatious grin spread across Emily's face. "In that case, can I take you to dinner sometime?"

Santana was completely caught off guard, she had never been asked out on a date by a girl before. And even though her first, second and third choice would be to take Brittany on a date, she had to admit to herself, she wouldn't mind looking at Emily for a couple of hours. Plus, she needed to try to move passed her feelings for Brittany. Brittany made it clear that she is with Kyle and only interested in having Santana in her life as a friend.

"Yeah, yeah you can." Santana was proud of herself for taking this step. It was a big step for her. Both in her personal discovery and also in her attempt to control her feelings about Brittany.

They made plans for the next night and exchanged phone numbers right as Brittany walked up to the table.

"Alright Santana, it was very nice to meet you. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7." Emily said this with a quick wink before she turned and left the café.

Brittany looked confused and if Santana wasn't mistaken a little hurt. She sat down to join Santana for their meal and eyed her coffee mug.

"You didn't eat already did you?"

"No, no, no. Of course not, I wouldn't break our plans Britt. We always eat brunch on Friday's!"

"Who was that girl? Why is she picking you up tomorrow night?"

"Her name is Emily and she asked me out on a date."

Brittany's face showed disappointment, despite her effort to hide it.

"Oh. That's…. good, I guess. She's cute."

Santana thought that the last statement from Brittany was a little odd but figured she was just trying to be encouraging so she tried not to over-analyze it.

She didn't think about her date with Emily again the entire time she was with Brittany. They spent an hour and a half at the café taking their time with brunch. Then they walked over to the library to study. They had found a little nook that was usually empty and they always spread out their stuff and took over the space for hours. It had become their go to spot since it became too cold to go to the fountain.

* * *

><p>Santana spent most of the day on Saturday studying. She was nervous about her date but it was mostly because of the fact that this was her first date with a girl and if she was honest about her dating past, this was her first official date.<p>

She was without a doubt attracted to Emily, it would be almost impossible to not be attracted to her. Emily was about 5"7, she had long chestnut brown hair, bright eyes that flirted between green and blue, her smile was captivating and her body. Dear Lord, she had an amazing body. Santana didn't feel hummingbirds thinking about Emily like she did with Brittany, not even butterflies. But she was nervous and excited, so maybe fireflies.

Emily knocked on the door to Santana's dorm at exactly 7 o'clock. Santana smiled, Brittany was always late, usually because she forgot something. Santana thought it was adorable but it was nice for someone to actually be on time for a change.

They walked to Main Street together and passed all of the restaurants that Santana and Brittany had eaten at. Emily turned her down a side street that she had never noticed before. They stopped in front of a little Italian restaurant, it was a more upscale than the places Santana and Brittany usually went to but it was very inviting. Santana's nerves disappeared and she got really excited as Emily opened the door and the girls walked into the restaurant.

There wasn't an awkward moment all night long, the girls enjoyed a great dinner and even better conversation. Emily had an outgoing, bubbly and sexy personality. Santana found herself enjoying Emily's company more than she had expected to.

After dinner the girls walked around Main Street and as they started to wander around the edge of campus Emily reached over and took Santana's hand in hers. The physical contact surprised Santana but she welcomed it. She has had so many emotions the past few months since meeting Brittany and even though the physical contact wasn't with Brittany, it had a comforting effect on her.

They approached Santana's dorm room and the conversation slowed. Emily leaned in, Santana leaned in hesitantly and Emily met her the rest of the way to give her a sweet, slow and soft kiss. It was polite and sexy and a perfect end to the night.

"I had a great night. Can I see you again?"

Santana smiled. "I had a great night too. I would love that."

They made plans for Monday night and said goodnight.

Santana was surprised that she had kind of been swept off her feet by Emily, even if it was just a little bit. She was respectful and funny and interesting and unbelievably attractive. There was definitely chemistry between the two of them and Santana was excited about their second date. There was, however, one major downside to Emily that was looming in Santana's mind. Emily wasn't Brittany. But she was determined to give her a fair chance.

* * *

><p>Sunday afternoon, Brittany came over to Santana's dorm and they walked to the library on campus to study as finals were only a week away.<p>

Santana was deep into her study guide for her Statistics class when she could feel Brittany's eyes on her. She looked up and her eyes met Brittany's. This simple action still had the ability to take her breath away and she didn't know if she would ever be prepared for it.

"So, how was your date last night?" Brittany attempted to ask this casually but the question was definitely strained.

"It went really well, surprisingly. Emily is really sweet and seems like a really great person. We're going out again tomorrow night."

"Wow, really? I mean, that's great for you. But I was kind of hoping we were going to do something. I'm going to miss you so much over Christmas break! I can't believe I won't see you for 3 weeks!"

"Aw, I'm sorry Britt. I'm going to miss you too. You have no idea! You know my Tuesday afternoons and Friday's are always off limits for anyone else, those times belong to you." She looked down so she could continue, "And any other time you want really. I'd rather be with you than anyone else I know. I love my time with you."

"Well….then why are you going out with her again?"

Santana could tell that Brittany was trying to figure something out in her head but Santana didn't know what the conflict or the confusion was. She was trying her best to be as patient as possible with Brittany because she was kind of frustrated by Brittany's question. It wasn't a fair thing for her to ask.

"Brittany, I had a good time with her. How about after the date I come over to your apartment and we can hang out for a couple of hours?"

Brittany relaxed a little bit, "I would really like that."

* * *

><p>The next couple of weeks flew by. Finals were finally over and everyone was heading home for Christmas break.<p>

Santana went out with Emily a couple more times and was really enjoying spending time with her. She found herself liking her more and more. She was so much fun to be around it was impossible to not have a good time with her. Those initial fireflies in her stomach had grown to butterflies. Emily was being very patient and respectful of Santana, she knew she was the first girl Santana had officially dated and she wasn't trying to push anything.

Their final date before they left school was simple, they ordered take out and sat in Santana's dorm room spending time together, just the two of them. Santana lit candles around the room and turned her iPod on low. It was relaxing and intimate. It was perfect. Emily's kisses were slow, not pushy. Soft, not demanding. And playful. It was very sensual and Santana felt herself getting more and more turned on every time they were together. But something kept holding Santana back. It's not that she didn't want to sleep with Emily, she would have to be blind and stupid to not have thoughts about it but something that Santana couldn't explain made her stop before they went any further.

At the end of the night, they said goodbye before leaving for the holidays and made plans to go out the first night they got back to school in two and a half weeks.

The next day Santana met Brittany at Hospitality Café for their weekly Friday brunch.

Santana could tell that Brittany was excited about going home and getting to spend time with Kyle. She could also tell that she was really sad about leaving Santana for the next few weeks.

Santana was heartbroken over the thought of not seeing Brittany for three weeks. But she thought it might actually be good for her. Especially since she was going to have a couple of days with Emily before Brittany got back to school. The break could help contain the hummingbirds that Santana still felt every time Brittany looked at her.

* * *

><p>The vacation was welcome for the first three days or so, but after that Santana was dying to get back to school. She had a pretty good relationship with her parents and was happy to see them but Lima, OH wasn't exactly her favorite place in the world. Even though it was a bigger town than the one where she went to school it felt like there was so much less to do there. And she missed Brittany and Emily.<p>

She talked to both girls almost every day. It was the best part of her day. Some days she and Brittany stayed on the phone for hours.

Christmas and New Years were both fairly uneventful and Santana was so happy when she was loading her car and saying goodbye to her parents to drive back to school. Her mother was crying and her dad kept asking for one more hug, both sad to see their little girl leave again, Santana was trying to contain her excitement so she didn't upset either of them. She loved her parents but she had a date tonight and couldn't wait to get back to school.

She pulled up to her dorm and dragged her suitcase up the front steps. She had a huge grin on her face, she was excited to finally see Emily again tonight. She was surprised that she had missed spending time with her but she really had.

She got into the elevator and pressed floor 3 to get to her room. As the doors opened Santana stepped out and stopped immediately. Brittany was sitting in front of her door crying. It looked like she had been there for a while. Santana's heart sank and she felt sick. She dropped all of her stuff and ran over to Brittany.

"Britt. What's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?" She wrapped her arms around her and held her as tightly as she could, trying to comfort her friend.

Brittany's sobs slowed and she looked up at Santana.

"Kyle and I broke up. I found out he was cheating on me with some girl at his school. I feel so stupid."

"Brittany. You are absolutely not stupid. I'm so, so sorry." Santana wiped away the last few stray tears and swept the hair out of Brittany's eyes. "Come on." She helped Brittany up, went and collected her bags and they went into Santana's dorm room.

As soon as Santana was able to get Brittany to settle down a little bit she stepped outside with her phone and called Emily.

"Hey, I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. Something happened and I need to be with a Brittany right now. I'll call you later."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: If you have any questions or comments you can send me a message on tumblr at stuffthingsandotherthings . tumblr . com :) <strong>

**I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! **

**Thank you to my Beta for being patient with me this chapter! :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took a little longer, for some reason it was impossible for me to write. I definitely struggled with it! Please let me know what you think so far. :)**

* * *

><p>Santana walked Brittany to her apartment. She turned on the shower for her, thinking it might help her feel a little bit better. She set out clothes and a towel for her, trying to make everything as easy as possible. She wanted to give Brittany all the time she needed. While Brittany was in the shower Santana went and picked up dinner for the two of them.<p>

Since she had a moment away, she decided to call Emily again.

"Hey Beautiful, is everything ok?"

Santana smiled into the phone. "Hey you, yeah, everything will be ok. Brittany broke up with her boyfriend, so she's having a hard time and needed someone to be with her tonight."

"She's lucky to have you as a friend. When am I going to be lucky enough to see you again?"

Brittany was finished with her shower and had changed into the clothes Santana left for her when she returned with dinner. She laid the food out for them and she picked a movie for them to watch, she tried to pick something fun and upbeat that might get Brittany's mind off of what happened.

When the opening credits began playing the title "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" flashed on the screen. Brittany's mouth formed a little smirk and she turned to Santana, "Thank you."

Brittany laid her head on Santana's shoulder and Santana put her arm around Brittany, holding her protectively through the entire movie.

When the movie ended Santana cleaned up while Brittany got ready for bed, she went into Brittany's room to say goodnight.

"Santana?"

"Yeah Britt?"

"Will you please stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone."

Santana hesitated. It felt different than it had during Thanksgiving. First of all, over Thanksgiving sharing a bed was the only option for Santana, unless she wanted to sleep on the floor. And second, she was with Emily now and didn't want to confuse that for anybody.

But she knew that Brittany needed her right now, and she couldn't disappear when Brittany needed her.

She smiled reassuringly, "Yes, I'll stay with you."

Brittany settled herself into the crook of Santana's neck, head resting against her chest and arms clenched around her body, desperate for the comfort of her best friend. "Thank you, for everything."

The next morning Santana was getting ready to leave when Brittany woke up.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Oh, hey Britt. I'm meeting Emily for lunch, we rescheduled for today."

"Oh, ok. I'm really sorry that you had to cancel your plans last night."

"Please don't apologize Brittany, I chose to stay with you, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Ok, well, have a good day. Will you come over later?"

"I'll try. I don't know what our plans are yet. But I'll definitely stop by tomorrow if I can't make it tonight."

* * *

><p>Santana walked to Main Street with a little extra skip in her step, she felt guilty for being so excited to see Emily, given the fact that Brittany just had her heart broken, but she couldn't wait to spend time with her girlfriend.<p>

Emily was sitting on a bench, her left leg crossed over her right knee, wearing a charcoal gray peacoat and Ray Ban sunglasses and fidgeting with her phone. An exuberant smile appeared on Santana's face, it was the first time she smiled honestly and fully in at least a week. She walked up behind Emily and put her arms across her chest. Emily jumped and Santana couldn't help but laugh.

Emily joined in and laughed along with her. "Hey Beautiful!"

"Hey, you look amazing today!"

Emily stood up and wrapped her arms around the slightly shorter brunette. They remained comfortably embraced both reveling the chance to be together again.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Santana realized they hadn't actually made specific plans yesterday. They just set a time and a place to meet up.

"Anything you want. It doesn't matter what we do as long as I get to spend time with you."

Santana blushed and tilted her head downwards, she couldn't believe she was falling for all of this sentimental girly stuff, but here she was getting a little weak in the knees every time Emily made a comment like that.

Santana leaned over and gave Emily a shy kiss, "I just want to spend the day with you too."

They decided to try a new restaurant for lunch, Bistro on Main.

They settled into their booth toward the back of the restaurant and looked over the menu. They took their time deciding what they wanted.

Both girls had so much they wanted to say about their vacations and their time apart but neither of them was saying anything. The atmosphere between them was a little off, it began to feel awkward and Santana started to shift in her seat.

Finally, the waitress came over to take their order. Santana silently thanked whatever power interrupted the awkwardness between her and Emily.

She asked the waitress several questions about the menu, something she never does but she was delaying as much as possible. Finally, she settled on the Grilled Chicken, Goat Cheese and Pesto sandwich. Emily politely ordered Shiitake and Oyster Mushroom Flatbread with Ricotta cheese.

As soon as the waitress walked away both girls tried to start talking at the same time.

"I missed you…"

"So, how was your…."

They laughed at the bad timing of their first attempt at a conversation. This broke the tension and things relaxed right back to where it was before they left school.

Emily continued what she had started to say, "I missed you so much. I never thought I would be excited about getting back to school but I couldn't wait to see you."

"I missed you too. I'm sorry I had to cancel our plans last night. I was so excited about getting back to see you. I had no idea what Brittany was going through and I couldn't just leave her."

"It's ok, I know how important she is to you. You're a good person Santana, I love that about you." She reached over and took Santana's hand in hers.

"Thanks."

They sat hand in hand, looking into each other's eyes with matching smiles when the waitress arrived with their food. They returned their hand to themselves and continued to enjoy their lunch together.

When they stepped back out into the cold afternoon air it had just started to flurry. As they continued walking it started to snow harder until they were walking in a heavy, persistent snow. Emily looked at Santana with a flirtatious smile, grabbed her hand and started running, dragging Santana giggling behind her.

By the time they made it to the fountain on campus a thin layer of fresh snow was covering the ground. Emily quickly formed a little snowball and turned around to toss it at Santana. Santana tried her hardest to give her a discouragingly, icy stare but couldn't contain her laughter after a couple of seconds. She formed a snowball and threw it back at Emily, starting an all-out snowball fight.

Eventually, Emily playfully tackled Santana into the snow both girls were out of breath and they lay in the snow cuddled together. Emily moved on top of Santana and began kissing her deeper and more passionately than they had ever kissed before. Unlike her usual gentle kisses, this one was urgent and a little rough. Santana was surprised by how turned on she was getting.

Suddenly Santana snapped out of the temporary bliss that she was enjoying and realized that they were lying on the ground, in the middle of campus, in the middle of the afternoon. She stopped Emily and moved away just out of reach, a smile still plastered across her face.

She was definitely starting to have stronger feelings for Emily and they were starting to fight with her feelings for Brittany.

That night Emily stayed over at Santana's.

Santana wasn't ready to sleep with Emily yet. She didn't know if it was because she had gotten over her phase of meaningless sex in high school, if it was because she really liked Emily and wanted to take her time, or if it was because Brittany was always a present factor in her mind.

But Emily was as respectful as ever and held Santana all night, never trying to demand anything more than to be close to her.

Santana slept great at first, she was comfortable and she was happy and she had a beautiful, thoughtful, and amazing girl holding her. But she woke up at 4:00, with something bothering her. She felt like something was missing, like she had forgotten something.

"Brittany!" She didn't mean to say it out loud. Emily shifted and started to wake up.

"Did you just say something? Why are you awake?"

"No, no I didn't say anything. I had a dream that woke me up. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry baby, let's go back to sleep."

Within a couple of minutes she felt Emily's breathing slow and get steady, but Santana couldn't sleep. She felt terrible that she didn't even think to send her a text message or anything when she was sitting at home having such a hard time. How could she be such a bad friend?

* * *

><p>The next morning, after Emily left, Santana pulled on her jacket and ran to Brittany's apartment. She knocked on the door frantically, guilt weighing heavily on her.<p>

Brittany opened the door after a couple of knocks. She was fully dressed, make-up and hair done and she looked refreshed. This was not the scene Santana was expecting to see. But she was so relieved. Brittany looked beautiful, sometimes Santana forgot just how beautiful Brittany really was and she was mad at herself for that. It was something too important to forget.

"Santana!" She practically jumped into her arms.

"Hey Britt! Are you going somewhere?"

"No plans. I decided I wasn't going to sit in bed and sulk and feel sorry for myself all day. This is a new beginning for me so I better start it right!"

"I'm so happy to hear you say that. You are so smart and so strong Britt. I'm so proud of you."

"Ok, enough about that! Let's go get some coffee."

"Sounds perfect!"

The girls walked to the café together, arm in arm enjoying the sunny and slightly warmer day. They both ordered the chocolate chip pancakes, though Santana skipped the extra whipped cream and extra bacon with hers.

* * *

><p>Santana did the best she could to split her time between her girlfriend and her best friend. She continued with her normal routine with Brittany and went out with Emily a few nights a week.<p>

One Thursday night Santana and Emily decided to go to a cooking class together, thinking it would be a fun and different activity for them. There were a lot of couples in the class as well as groups of friends, but they were obviously the only gay couple in the class. This made Santana feel shy and awkward. It was still strange for her to stick out and be such an obvious minority.

"Santana, we have every right to be here. We are the exact same as they are. They aren't even paying attention to us. Just try to relax and have fun. That's the reason we are here to have fun."

"And to eat some delicious food, don't forget about that!"

Emily laughed, "And to eat some delicious food, how could I possible forget to mention that?"

The class started to make the appetizer, an heirloom tomato and fresh mozzarella salad with a balsamic-oregano vinaigrette.

Santana surprised Emily by taking over and making practically the entire first course.

"Well, Ms. Lopez. I had no idea you could cook."

"I grew up in Latina household. You think my abuela didn't teach me a thing or two in the kitchen?"

"This is a nice surprise, this means you're going to start cooking for me more often right?"

"In who's kitchen? We both live in dorm rooms remember?"

"Ahh, yes, the first world problems of being a college student. I guess I'll just have to enjoy this as much as possible tonight then. It's extremely sexy."

They continued with the next course of roasted lamb chops persillade, fingerling potatoes with black truffle butter and sautéed kale.

As they were cooking they girls started to talk to some of the other people in the class. With every minute that passed Santana became more and more comfortable and was having such a good time. This was her favorite date that she had ever been on. It was so easy to be around Emily.

To finish up the class they were set to make a chocolate soufflé with a salted caramel sauce and fresh vanilla bean whipped cream.

This is where Emily took over, she was so focused when she was measuring the ingredients and putting them together just as instructed. Santana giggled to herself, Emily was absolutely adorable right now.

As she was measuring the sugar for the whipped cream Santana pulled on the string of her apron making it come undone. Emily briefly flashed an annoyed look before she smiled and put her arms around Santana's waist pulling her close.

"I can play too you know?" she whispered into Santana's ear as she undid her apron.

The girls laughed, re-tied each other's aprons and finished putting their soufflés together.

* * *

><p>That Saturday night Emily picked Santana up in her car for a surprise date. They stopped at the corner market to pick up little things for a picnic.<p>

They drove about 25 minutes north of the small college town. Emily finally slowed down and turned into a driveway with a lit sign

**Drive-In Movies**

**Tonight: Singing in the Rain**

Santana smiled, not only because her Glee club sang the song in high school but because it was one of her favorite old movies.

Santana reached for Emily's hand and gently kissed it.

They set up the little picnic they purchased in the car and got comfortable as the opening credits began to roll.

It was freezing outside so they had to leave the heat running in the car the whole time but there was snow on the ground and the stars were so bright. It was a peaceful, beautiful and an amazing night and Santana was completely charmed. She grabbed Emily's hand again and dragged her towards her. She kissed her in appreciation for giving her so many amazing days recently.

As the movie ended, before Emily started heading back towards campus she turned toward Santana, "Do you have any plans next weekend?"

"Just brunch with Brittany on Friday."

"Do you think you could cancel this week? I mean, you're with her as much as you're with me."

"She's my best friend Emily, you know that. I can talk to her about going some other time, why?"

"My parents have a cabin about two hours away, let's get away for the weekend. Just the two of us. No school, no Brittany, no distractions, just you and me."

Santana didn't like that it sounded like Emily was implying that Brittany was a distraction, she didn't like how she was talking about her but she didn't want to bring it up right now. This wasn't the time or place. But spending the weekend away did sound nice and spending time with Emily sounded even better.

"That sounds wonderful Em."

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><p><strong>If you have any questions for me you can contact me on tumblr: stuffthingsandotherthings. Also, I am looking for a second Beta, if you are interested you can send me a message on tumblr as well. Thanks! <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

When Santana thinks about a family cabin in the woods she thinks about a modest little log cabin with a couple of rooms, a fireplace in the living room, a makeshift kitchen space, and a front porch with rockers.

Emily's family's cabin is nothing like what Santana envisioned. It is a beautiful, two-story brightly lit home. The yard was perfectly landscaped, there was a pool and hot tub in the backyard and the house backed up to a huge lake. The only thing that was true to what Santana imagined was the front porch. However, this one was a wrap-around porch with a swing on either side of the front door.

Santana couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Are you kidding me? _This_ is your family cabin in the woods?"

"What were you expecting? Something out of Little House on the Prairie?"

"Maybe…, I don't know."

They laughed together at her surprise. Emily had a smug look plastered on her face, pleased that Santana was impressed.

The girls grabbed their luggage and walked through the front door.

"Let's put our stuff away and then we can go to the store and get some groceries for the weekend. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

Emily wrapped her arms around Santana.

"I'm glad you decided to come with me this weekend."

"Me too, Em."

Emily gave Santana a quick kiss and led her upstairs to her room.

Emily's room was as impressive as the rest of the house. A queen sized platform bed was the focal point with a huge, beautifully framed piece of photography hanging over her bed. She had a balcony overlooking the lake with two lounge chairs.

After they had settled in for a few minutes they locked the house back up and left for town about 15 minutes away.

They spent their time at the grocery store lightheartedly debating what they should buy for their few days at the cabin.

"There is a little Italian restaurant next door, it's pretty good. We could pick up pizza and have that for dinner tonight."

"Ok, whatever you want is fine."

"Ok, let's do that and then, I'll be nice enough to let you make dinner for me tomorrow night." Emily looked at Santana as seriously as she could, trying not to smile.

"Yeah, ok, sure thing." Santana rolled her eyes.

"But why not?" Emily gave her the best puppy dog eyes she could muster.

She couldn't help but laugh and give in a little bit, "Why don't we make dinner _together _tomorrow night? And don't think that you're going to get away with me doing all of the work!"

"Deal."

When they got back to the house Emily found a bottle of red wine and lit the fire place. They spent the evening eating dinner, drinking the wine and cuddling in front of the fire.

Santana was happy. She was really happy and relaxed. But she couldn't ignore the fact that she still felt kind of empty when she was with Emily. It was a feeling that she thought would be filled as time went on but she was starting to find herself skeptical.

She liked Emily, a lot. She was attractive and funny and fun to be around. It was easy with her but there was no depth to their relationship. That wouldn't normally bother Santana, it's not like she needed something serious. The part that bothered her is that she did have a relationship that was deep and intense and that consumed her.

She was torn between her relationship and the relationship that she wishes she could have.

* * *

><p>Saturday night they put their new skills from the cooking class to the test.<p>

"Ok, marinate the pork chops first and let them sit for 30 minutes. What are you marinating them in?"

"I found some balsamic vinegar, so probably that and some brown sugar. We bought some basil yesterday, right?"

"I have no idea what you got! Let me check." Emily opened the refrigerator and looked around. She grabbed some green leaf looking thing and held it up. "Is this basil?"

Santana laughed and walked over to her, she grabbed the bag out of her hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Yes, yes this is basil, good job!"

Emily's cheeks turned pink. "Hey, be nice! I'm new at all of this domestic business!"

They spent two hours whipping up an elaborate meal together. Emily opened a bottle of champagne and lit candles on the dining room table.

Santana was finishing the last couple of bites of her dinner when her cell phone began ringing in the next room. She paused but didn't get up to answer it and continued to eat.

It rang a second time and she gave Emily a sheepish look.

"I'm sorry, let me go turn it off."

"It's fine, just answer it."

"Are you sure? I can just put it on silent or something."

"It's ok, Santana."

She grabbed her phone and couldn't help the smile the spread across her face, or the fact that her heart leapt in her chest.

"Hey Britt!"

"Hey, I'm sorry to bother you but I just miss you. Are you having fun?"

"I miss you too! I can't wait to see you tomorrow night! I am having fun, her house is amazing. You would love it here so much Britt. We would have such a good time here."

"I wish I was with you. But you're all mine tomorrow, so I won't complain!"

Santana laughed, "Yes, I am yours tomorrow night. I have to go but I'll come over as soon as I get back."

She hung up and put her phone on silent before she rejoined Emily at the table.

"Hey, I'm so sorry about that!" she smiled as she sat down.

"Who was it? Everything ok?"

"Yeah, it was Brittany."

"Really Santana?"

"What do you mean really?"

"I mean that this was supposed to be our weekend away from everything and everyone, and then in the middle of this supposedly romantic dinner you leave for five minutes to answer a phone call from Brittany? I've tried to ignore the fact that you practically act like I don't exist sometimes because of her, I've tried to be understanding and patient about the situation but this crossed a line. I'm your girlfriend Santana, I really wish you would start respecting that."

"I cancelled my plans with her to be with you this weekend Emily. I offered to just turn the phone off but you encouraged me to answer it, so I did. I've made it clear to you that Brittany is a good friend and a very important person in my life and _you_ are going to have to start respecting _that_. But like you said you are my girlfriend and I am here with you and I am happy to be here with you so please don't make this a bigger deal than it is."

They sat in a frustrated silence for the remainder of the meal. After the meal Emily went into the living room and Santana went into the kitchen, happy to do dishes for once, if only to spend some time alone for a few minutes.

Thirty minutes later Santana joined Emily in the living room, they didn't exchange words. Santana curled up to Emily and laid her head against her shoulder. Emily wrapped Santana in an embrace, they stayed like that silently until Emily removed her arms and stood up and started walking upstairs. She still hadn't said anything to Santana when she left her sitting on the couch alone with her thoughts.

Finally, Santana collected herself; she was ready to face what was waiting for her upstairs.

Emily was sitting in her bed against her headboard, sitting in silence. Her head popped up in surprise when Santana entered the room.

"Hey," Emily was very hesitant with the greeting.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry I got upset. I know you are with me and I need to become more secure with that but sometimes I just wish you would look at me the way you look at her. I really wanted this weekend to be special for us."

"It has been special. There is no reason for it to not be special for us. One phone call shouldn't change anything."

"You're right. Let's go to sleep so we can start new tomorrow and have a great day."

* * *

><p>As soon as Emily dropped Santana off at her apartment she dropped her bag in her dorm room, turned around, relocked the door and headed for Brittany's apartment. She couldn't wait to see Brittany, it had only been a few days but it felt like months had passed. She was debating whether she should tell her about her fight with Emily or not when she got to the apartment.<p>

They were hanging out in Brittany's room since her roommates were home and watching TV in the living room, usually they would join them but they wanted to spend time alone to catch up.

She decided not to mention her fight with Emily, she didn't want to ruin her time with Brittany or make it awkward. It wasn't really that important for Brittany to know anyways, she didn't want to worry her.

She filled Brittany in on the weekend. Brittany gave a mockingly jealous look when Santana was describing everything to her but really she was excited for Santana to continue, she wanted every single detail.

Brittany had Adele playing softly in the background and Santana was lying on her bed petting Lord Tubbington.

"I swear, you have the weirdest cat in the entire world!"

"What? Lord Tubbington is not weird. He's the bestest cat ever. Aren't you Lord Tubbington?" She walked over and took over petting him.

Santana smiled and laughed softly.

Brittany gave Santana a look that she had never seen before, or at least one that she had never noticed. Then her expression grew sad. It wasn't obvious but her eyes were definitely weighed down with sadness.

"Santana, can we talk about something?"

Santana sat up nervously; Brittany never asked if they could talk, they just talked. The request was unsettling to her.

"Always, what's up Britt?"

Brittany didn't speak immediately. She looked like she was trying to collect herself and organize her thoughts. So Santana sat patiently and waited until she was ready to say whatever she needed to say.

"I've had time to do a lot of thinking since I broke up with Kyle. Honestly, I'm happy that he cheated on me. It helped me realize something very important. I don't think I ever would have understood it if I had stayed with him, and I wouldn't have had a reason to break up with him if he hadn't cheated."

Santana remained patient to see where Brittany was going with this. Had she met someone new? Wouldn't she have told Santana already? Sure she was spending a lot of time with Emily, but not that much time. Her nerves began to take over before she could control them.

Brittany smiled a nervous and subtle smile, the hint of melancholy still visible. She opened and closed her mouth several times before she was finally able to continue.

"I have had feelings for you that have been different than any other friendship I've ever had. I just thought that it was because you are so special, more special than anyone else I've met. I didn't fully understand the feelings until after I broke up with Kyle. Even when I was with him I always felt alone, I never feel like that with you. You always make me feel like the most important person in the world."

"Brittany…."

Brittany cut Santana off, talking faster now, "There haven't been enough hours in the day since I met you because I just want to spend every single second with you. I can't get enough, and I don't think that I ever will. Now I know why it feels better when you hold me than it ever did when Kyle held me. I'm in love with you Santana."

"Brittany, I don't..I..I mean, are you sure?"

"That night at my parent's house I wanted to kiss you more than anything in the world, so I did. I didn't have any idea what it meant at the time, just that I had to do it. I would give anything to be able to do that anytime I wanted to. "

"I don't know what to say. I love you, so much. But I don't know what to do."

"I'm not asking for anything from you Santana, I just had to tell you how I am feeling. I know I am realizing this too late but I wanted you to know."

* * *

><p>A few days later Santana spent the entire day with Emily. She had been extra affectionate all day, her hands roaming freely when they found themselves alone.<p>

Now that she was lying in bed with Santana she became even more obvious with her intentions. She maneuvered herself on top of Santana and began kissing her deeply. She was playful, pulling Santana's bottom lip in between her lips. Moving to Santana's neck and then pulling ever so gently on her ear. She moved back to her lips and became more demanding with her kisses. She moved her hands under Santana's shirt, moving them along the bare skin of her back.

She began pulling at the hem of Santana's shirt, guiding it up and over her head. She moved her lips down and started kissing her collarbone while her hands moved to cup Santana's boobs.

Santana was enjoying the attention her body was receiving, this wasn't anything they hadn't done before but as Emily reached behind her to unhook her bra Santana began to panic. She wasn't ready for this and somehow she knew that she would never be ready for this with Emily.

She sat up frantically, "Wait, wait. Stop!"

"What's wrong?"

"Emily I can't do this. I am so sorry."

Emily looked confused, "Santana, we've been together for 3 months now, what's the problem?"

"I know, and I really like you but I am sorry, I can't…it's just…I.."

"It's okay. I already know Santana." She paused, hurt and sadness settling in her eyes, " You're in love with her."

Santana looked at Emily with wide eyes, she couldn't believe the words that had just come out of her mouth. But they were one hundred percent true. Santana was completely in love with Brittany.

She began to panic further. What was she doing lying in bed without a shirt on looking at Emily? This was all wrong. Everything was wrong. Her eyes filled with tears, she nodded at Emily.

"I am. I am absolutely and completely in love with her. I'm so sorry."

Santana called Brittany as soon as Emily left.

"Hey, are you busy?"

"No, not right now. Is everything ok?'

"Yes, everything is ok but can you come over?"

Santana wasn't sure what she was going to say once Brittany got there but she was terrified. She hated not having control over every situation. She had no idea what would happen. Would Brittany still be interested? Would she be upset or happy? She didn't know what to brace herself for so she just sat on her bed staring at the door, waiting for whatever lay ahead.

She heard a light knock on the door, took a deep breath and turned the door handle.

Brittany's face was slightly skeptical when Santana first opened the door but it quickly relaxed into a smile when her eyes met Santana's.

Santana walked further into her room towards her bed hoping that Brittany would get the hint to follow her.

She turned around and before Brittany could say anything she blurted out the words, "I broke up with Emily."

"What? Why? When?"

"I broke up with her earlier today. I wasn't in love with her and I knew that I never would be and I could never give her myself completely, heart or body because I am completely and totally in love with you and you are the only person in this entire world who I want to wake up next too and spend lazy Sunday afternoons with. I want to hold you until forever comes and never let go because I'd be too afraid to lose you. I love you Brittany."

Brittany's eyes began to fill with tears. Santana wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing and she worried that she had said too much or crossed a line or upset Brittany somehow.

"What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?"

Brittany shook her head no and walked over to Santana took both of her hands in hers, smiled and leaned down to kiss her firmly and completely.

They looked at each other briefly before Santana took Brittany's lips in hers again. Santana took her time with this kiss trying to take in every emotion and every feeling she was experiencing so she would never forget it.

Every second that Santana had spent thinking about Brittany, and thinking about this moment, couldn't have possibly prepared her for how it actually felt.

Brittany's lips fit perfectly with Santana's and she moved them at the perfect pace. They were soft and delicate, yet firm and very present. Santana got goose bumps over her entire body. She felt weak. Her head began to spin. She had never felt so emotionally light in her entire life. This was the greatest feeling in the world and she never wanted to leave this place.

Santana pulled away long enough to get Brittany's attention.

"What?" Brittany giggled as she asked the question.

"Does this mean I can take you out on a real date tomorrow night?"

"A date? Really?" Her voice got higher when she asked the last part.

"Yes. I want to take you out on a proper date. I want to treat you how you have always deserved to be treated Brittany. If we are going to do this I want to do it right. We shouldn't just jump into it."

Brittany bounced up and down with joy. "Of course you can take me on a real date! I'm so excited Santana. I am so happy."

"Me too, Britt. Me too. You have no idea."

* * *

><p>Santana drove over to Brittany's apartment. This was her first time actually driving there, she always walked, and it felt fitting that their first date would be the first time she ever picked Brittany up from her apartment.<p>

She was excited about the date and she was even more excited to see Brittany's reaction to what she had planned for them.

Brittany opened the door holding a bouquet of white and violet daisies.

Santana eyed the flowers and laughed nervously. "Did you get me flowers?"

Brittany looked confused. "Yes. I didn't really know what I was supposed to do, I've never been on a date with another girl before. Plus they're beautiful just like you, I thought you deserved something beautiful."

Santana smiled, in awe of the girl in front of her and just how lucky she was to be taking her on a date tonight. She never thought this would happen. She finally took the flowers Brittany had been holding.

"Thank you Brittany, they are perfect."

"You're welcome. So where are we going?"

"You'll see, come on!"

They climbed into Santana's car and started moving away from the campus. There was a nervous energy between them, it wasn't awkward but it was a different feeling for them. Things were different now. They weren't just friends hanging out. They were on a date, as a couple.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you to my Beta, I know you've been super busy lately! :)

* * *

><p>Santana pulled up to a building that looked like a warehouse, there were only a handful of cars in the parking lot. Brittany looked over at Santana cautiously.<p>

"Um, Santana. Where are we?" She giggled but there was a trace of nerves hidden in the laugh.

"You'll see," she gave Brittany a sly grin as they stepped out of the car, "let's go!"

Brittany took Santana's hand in hers as they walked to the front door.

As soon as they entered the building Brittany's eyes lit up. And she shrieked, "Ice skating! Santana!"

Santana laughed because she was positive that Brittany was the most adorable person alive.

"I'm glad you're excited, I was kind of nervous about it." She scrunched her nose and squinted her eyes trying to emphasize her hesitation.

"Are you kidding me? I haven't been ice skating in forever!"

The rink was pretty empty considering it was a Monday night. There were a few stray skaters but for the most part the girls had the place to themselves.

Brittany was much better at this than Santana was. She was graceful and glided on the ice with ease. The way she moved was beautiful, Santana adored watching her. Santana was a little embarrassed that she was as wobbly as she ended up being, but Brittany stayed by her side and supported her and after several times around the rink she started getting the hang of it.

They leaned against each other, not just for support but because they were enjoying this new level of affection that they were sharing. They held hands and giggled together for almost two hours. Santana's cheeks were sore from smiling and laughing. When she could barely take another step she convinced Brittany to step off of the ice.

"Oh my god Santana, that was so much fun!"

"It was! I'm kind of surprised that I enjoyed it that much honestly."

They turned in their skates and headed for the door.

"Ok, what's next?" Brittany was so enthusiastic and excited about everything. Santana honestly believed that she could take her to a hole in the ground and Brittany would find a way to make it fun.

She laughed, "You'll see, just wait Britt."

Santana drove back toward campus and parallel parked less than a block from Hospitality Café. She smiled at Brittany and opened her door.

They walked up to the front counter of the cafe, Santana didn't ask Brittany what she wanted.

"Two medium hot chocolates."

Brittany glanced at Santana with a smirk.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Seriously Brittany, what?"

"Nothing, just, you're cute and this date is the best date ever."

They took a seat at a table and quietly sipped their hot chocolate. Santana had no idea what was supposed to happen now. Yes, this is exactly what she wanted, for so long but how are you supposed to act when you start dating your best friend; When all of the sudden it's ok to reach over and hold her hand, to kiss her cheek, to caress her arm or back. She had pictured this for so long but now that it was happening she didn't really know how to be around Brittany.

She was having conflicting emotions in her gut. The first one was telling her to run, run away from everything. Santana would have run away, not necessarily physically but emotionally less than a year ago. If she left now she couldn't screw this up later. She wouldn't lose Brittany and regret it for the rest of her life. The second one was telling her that if she ran she would be making the biggest mistake of her life.

"I don't really know what is supposed to happen now Britt. I don't know how to act around you or what to say."

"I don't either but there's no place I would rather be. We will figure it out together. And you shouldn't feel the need to say or not say anything. We don't need to be a certain way. We should do whatever is comfortable for us."

"How are you so okay with all of this? You were with the same guy for over two years and now all of the sudden you're on a date with a girl."

"I don't know. I loved him and now I'm in love with you." She shrugged.

"I wish I could see things that clearly. You're brave Brittany, it's just one more thing I love about you. I can't wait to find new things to love about you every day."

Brittany blushed and kissed Santana's hand. It was a simple gesture but one that made Santana's heart melt completely and she knew she would have been a fool if she had chosen to run away. She could never voluntarily leave the beautiful girl sitting beside her.

"Are you ready to go to dinner?"

"Are you serious? There's more?"

The corner of Santana's mouth curved up and she nodded as she stood up. This time it was Santana who took Brittany's hand in hers. She gently stroked the back of Brittany's hand with her thumb and Brittany snuggled into Santana's side as they walked towards Main Street.

If asked Santana couldn't tell you about the rest of the evening in details. She doesn't remember what she ate at dinner, she doesn't remember when they left the restaurant and walked back to Santana's car, she doesn't remember specific conversations that happened between the two of them but she will never forget how she felt that night.

She had this unprovoked adrenaline, her heart was racing and it felt like her stomach was tied in a knot. These feelings weren't feelings of being uneasy or unsure. Yes, she was nervous because this was a new territory for her but that's not where these feelings were stemming from. And at the same time there was an undeniable calmness running through her. These contradicting emotions were constantly pulling back and forth which created a never-ending rollercoaster the entire time she was with Brittany. Every glance or smile Brittany would give her would fill her heart with pure joy. Every little laugh or quick touch would make her heart catch and feel like it just might explode.

These feelings were common for Santana when she is with Brittany now but this was the first night she felt the emotions in full effect. This is the first time she truly felt what it was like to be in love with someone.

Santana walked Brittany her to door, it felt strange, they never said goodbye like this, it was never this formal. Usually they just said goodbye wherever they had been and go home separately or they would hang out at Brittany's apartment or in Santana's dorm room until one of them got really tired and the other one would walk home.

"Brittany?" Now her nerves were starting to get the best of her.

"Yes?"

"Is it okay if," she rolled her eyes at herself for being nervous, "if I kiss you?" She felt silly for asking but she also didn't want to just assume that it would be okay and catch Brittany off guard or something.

Brittany looked surprised by the question but nodded and smiled into a kiss.

As soon as Brittany's lips grazed hers, Santana was sure that her heart was exploding in her chest but she never wanted it to end.

* * *

><p>Santana was becoming more comfortable in her relationship with Brittany as the semester wore on. She loved every second that she was able to spend with Brittany. She loved learning new things about her and having new experiences and new feelings.<p>

They decided to not make any big plans for their first Valentine's Day together. They chose to have dessert and coffee at Hospitality Café. Santana didn't think they could've made better plans; something simple and sweet was a much better fit for them as a couple than something forced and overly fancy.

After they left the café they walked to Brittany's apartment in a comfortable and content silence.

"You can stay here tonight if you want to." Brittany looked up at Santana with hopeful eyes.

She smirked as she contemplated this offer. She knew they weren't going to have sex yet, it wasn't the right timing, but she hadn't spent the night with Brittany since she broke up with Kyle and waking up next to her sounded like the greatest thing in the world.

She opened her mouth to say yes and just as she did she got a brilliant idea, one that would be a perfect surprise for Brittany and she couldn't hold back a mischievous smile.

"I would love to stay with you Britt."

That night when Brittany was getting ready for bed Santana quickly set an alarm on her phone and then set it to vibrate so she would wake up before Brittany but the alarm would allow Brittany to continue sleeping.

She fell asleep with her head rested on Brittany's chest. Both arms were wrapped around her and she held her as close as possible. Brittany laid her chin on top of Santana's head. They inhaled and exhaled, breathing in time together both comforted by the sound and feel of the other's heartbeat and breathing patterns.

* * *

><p>The next morning Santana's alarm went off at 8:15. She cursed her phone as she slowly reached over to turn off the alarm. She looked over at Brittany to make sure she was still asleep. She had shifted since Santana got out of bed, she was curled up in the comforter and she was holding onto the pillow where Santana had been lying just moments earlier. She looked so peaceful. Santana leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.<p>

She got dressed and left the apartment as quickly and quietly as she could and walked the 3 blocks to the corner market. She took a basket and the front door and grabbed eggs, flour, baking powder, buttermilk, and a few other ingredients. She checked to see who was working the cashier, and when she noticed it was a guy around her age she wandered back through the store to pick up a bottle of champagne.

She was as flirtatious as possible when she was at the checkout and just as she had hoped the guy didn't ID her.

"So, what's your name?" He asked as he handed her the receipt, he was trying so hard but he had no game. Santana almost felt a little bad for him.

She just smiled and shook her head as she started walking towards the door.

When she got back to Brittany's apartment she checked her room to make sure she was still sleeping. As soon as Santana was convinced that she hadn't moved an inch she went back into the kitchen and started unpacking her grocery bags.

Forty five minutes later Santana walked into Brittany's room holding a bouquet of daisies. She leaned over and kissed Brittany. She didn't move so Santana kissed her again. Brittany groaned and rolled over. Santana kissed her cheek this time. Brittany opened one eye and rolled back over to look at Santana.

"Hi." She grumbled.

Santana snickered lightly, "Good morning beautiful, I have a surprise for you."

Brittany shot up, "A surprise! Really?"

"Yes, but you have to get out of bed."

Brittany gave Santana her best attempt at a pout and sad eyes but jumped out of bed in a matter of seconds.

Santana handed her the flowers and took her free hand to lead her into the dining room.

She had set up a few candles on the table, two glasses of champagne with little pieces of peaches on the bottom and blueberry pancakes with sliced strawberries, honey and whipped cream.

Brittany's eyes grew wide as she tried to take everything in. She started to tear up a little bit, she couldn't believe that Santana had snuck out and done all of this for her. It was the sweetest thing anyone had done before. She walked over to Santana and kissed her. It was meant to be a simple thank you but there was so much more behind that kiss. Adoration, trust, hope, promise and things she wasn't even sure of herself yet. It was the most meaningful kiss that Santana had ever shared with anyone.

* * *

><p>They met up at their favorite restaurant on Main Street the next week for one of their weekly date nights.<p>

It was just starting to warm up at little bit during the days which was making the nights a little more tolerable. There was no longer snow on the ground and a heavy winter coat wasn't required to leave the front door. With this change of weather came a shift in their relationship. Everything had grown comfortable; touches, glances and grazes came easier.

There were still times when Santana had the desire to run or put up walls when she saw the fire and love in Brittany's eyes but all that it took was for Brittany to touch her arm or hold her hand and she knew that she was right where she needed to be.

After dinner they decided to take their time walking around campus to enjoy the weather. They walked around the fountain, past Hospitality Café and finally ended up at Santana's dorm room. Without words Santana took Brittany's hand and lead her into the building and to the elevator.

Santana locked the door to her room and she turned around, walked to Brittany and kissed her. Brittany was caught off guard by how direct Santana was but she caught up quickly and returned the kiss with everything she had to give. At first the kisses were sweet, slow, and loving. Santana didn't want to rush this. She wanted to feel and remember everything about kissing Brittany.

She wanted to remember how perfectly Brittany's lips fit in between hers, how soft, delicate, and silky her lips felt against hers but also how they can be firm, present and sometimes demanding. She wanted to remember how Brittany's body responds to a change of pace or pressure, how she holds onto Santana like she might float away if she let go. And honestly, there were times where Santana believed she might float away. Sometimes all of these feelings at once were completely overwhelming. Tonight it left Santana needing more.

The kiss deepened and Brittany took Santana's bottom lip in between her teeth, applying a little pressure as she sucked playfully. This sent a shiver throughout Santana's entire body and her nipples hardened instantly at her body's reaction. Santana played back by turning her attention to Brittany's neck, she moved up and pulled on her ear with her lips and then slowly whispered, "You are so beautiful." It was barely audible but she could feel Brittany's body respond in her arms.

She looked into her eyes. What she saw took her breath away. She saw pure desire and love. She had never made love to anyone before but she knew that was exactly what she and Brittany were going to do tonight and she had never wanted anyone more than she wanted Brittany in this moment.

She grew braver and her hands began to roam over Brittany's body as she was having trouble containing her excitement. She ran the tips of her fingernails down Brittany's arms and then back up. She caressed her hands over her shoulder blades, down her sides and to her ass. Santana pulled Brittany closer to her, placing her thigh between Brittany's legs. Brittany moaned into the kiss as they both became more frantic and demanding. She grabbed the bottom of Brittany's shirt and looked at her for permission. Brittany nodded slowly, Santana looked for any trace of hesitation in Brittany's eyes and when she found none she pulled her shirt over her head. Brittany repeated the action to Santana.

Brittany began caressing Santana's bare skin as their lips continued to work together at a hurried pace. Santana began to rock against Brittany's leg, Brittany joined until they were in unison. Their breathing was becoming labored and Santana pulled away to unlatch Brittany's bra, sliding it down her arms and reveling Brittany's bare torso. Santana's breath caught, she was the most beautiful thing she had ever witnessed.

She placed one more kiss on Brittany's lips before she moved down to her neck, tracing every bit of beauty with her kisses and she worked down to her collarbone. She firmly placed her right hand on Brittany's left breast as her lips met her right breast. She kissed a circle around her nipple teasing as she moved. Brittany was growing impatient and she began to grind on Santana slowly.

Santana flicked Brittany's nipple gently with her tongue before taking it into her mouth completely. Brittany placed both hands on Santana's head and moaned backwards falling further into the pillow. Santana continued until Brittany's moans had died down, then she moved to her left breast, expecting a similar reaction. Instead Brittany took Santana's hand and placed in on her center. Santana hesitated, surprised. But she regained the lead, following Brittany's silent request.

She could feel how wet Brittany was through her panties and it made her even more turned on. She placed her hand inside of her underwear and moved them slowly between Brittany's warm, moist folds. She gently started massaging just above her entry until Brittany's breathing became unsteady. She placed one finger inside and started pumping in a slow, steady, rhythm. As she placed a second finger inside Brittany reached up began touching Santana's center. Soon Brittany placed one and then shortly two fingers inside of Santana and both girls were pumping at the same rhythm, rocking back and forth together.

Their sounds and moans became intertwined in the room, echoing off of the empty door room walls. Their paced quickened. Their breathing was loud and labored, whimpers escaping their lips. Brittany let a high pitched shriek out as she was starting to climax. At the sound Santana released a guttural moan that surprised even herself. Santana climaxed just seconds after Brittany's release and she fell on top of her, as they tried to catch their breath.

Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany and kissed her forehead. As they fell asleep Santana couldn't remember the last time that she felt this comfortable or this happy, it was probably because she had never been this comfortable or happy before in her life. She was where she belonged and she never wanted to let go of this feeling.

* * *

><p>AN: Please leave a review or send me a message and let me know what you think of the story so far! Also, I am looking for a second Beta, if you are interested please send me a message, thanks!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took me forever to post. I've had a long month and it was difficult for me to write. **

* * *

><p>Santana and Brittany were lying around Brittany's room on a lazy Sunday afternoon a couple of weeks before Spring Break, books were open on Brittany's bed but Santana was finding it hard to get any studying done. Brittany kept looking up and giving her a shy grin, like she was keeping something from her. It was the same look that two of Brittany's roommates had given her when she walked through the apartment an hour earlier.<p>

Santana looked at her with a curious glance, "Brittany, is something going on?"

"Um…no?"

"You've been giving me this goofy look all day, and your roommates failed miserably at suppressing their laughter when I walked in."

"Um…well, I did kind of tell them about us yesterday."

"Tell them about us how?"

"I told them that we're dating, and I don't really know what to consider my sexuality but it doesn't matter because the only person that I want to be with is you."

"Well, what did they say?"

"Ashley and Jessica don't care, they like you and they hated Kyle, so they are just happy that I'm not trying to run back to him. Which by the way, I'm not! Ever! You are like a billion and one times better than him. And like I said, you're the only person I want to be with."

"You don't have to say that Britt, I'm not worried about you getting back together with Kyle."

"Good, because I'm not going anywhere!" She winked quickly as a shy smile appeared. "Claire, however, was a little less accepting about the situation. She's uncomfortable with it."

"Isn't she like your oldest friend? Shouldn't she want you to be happy?"

"Yeah, I've known her since elementary school, but I mean her family is very traditional, she was raised in a strict, religious household. She just doesn't understand, it's not her fault."

"Hopefully she will come around when she gets used to us. Were you ready to tell people? How are you feeling about everything?"

"I'm so happy with you Santana, why wouldn't I want to share that with people? I didn't really have to think about it."

Santana smiled and took Brittany's hand, "I'm really happy too Britt."

Santana was engrossed in her studying for mid-terms; she was startled when her phone began to ring next to her. She looked at the screen and smiled. "Well, if it isn't Miss Ivy League herself."

"Funny, Santana."

"Apparently your overachieving, self-absorbed ass has been too busy to pick up your phone lately. I haven't talked to you since Christmas break."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry I went to a real college instead of a _liberal arts_ school like you did."

"Hey! Hill Park College is a really good school, you know that!"

"Yes, Santana. You won't ever let me forget it. Anyways, you're coming home for spring break, right?"

"Yeah, of course. And well, actually, I'm bringing someone with me."

Santana had been nervous about telling Quinn about Brittany. Quinn knew she was gay; she was one of the first people to know. They had been friends since Elementary school and Quinn knew more about Santana than anyone else. But this was Santana's first girlfriend, her first real relationship, and even though she was excited to share it with the people she cared about, she was anxious.

"What? Who? And why haven't you told me about this yet?"

"Um, because you're too busy studying rocket science or something equally boring."

Quinn laughed, some things will never change with Santana. "I'm in the theatre program, and you're ignoring my question."

* * *

><p>Santana's stomach was spinning with nerves as she was driving through Lima to her neighborhood. She kept looking over at Brittany trying to figure out what she was thinking as they passed places in town that were embedded into Santana's memory. As soon as she turned from Four Oaks Boulevard onto North Monroe Avenue she felt the need to explain why her family lived on this side of town.<p>

"My dad wanted to live closer to the hospital. He said as long as he was close to work and I was in a good school we could make any house a home." She smiled to herself at her dad's words. It used to annoy Santana that she lived in Lima Heights while all of her friends lived the nicer parts of town. She knew her parents' house was nicer than most of the people she went to school with but she was still self-conscious about the jokes about her rough neighborhood.

"That sounds a lot like what my dad used to say to my sister and me every time we moved when he was re-stationed." She smiled back at Santana, trying subtly to get her to relax a little bit.

Santana turned onto her street, her heart was racing and her breathing became shallow. This was the first time she was bringing a girl home to meet her parents. She wanted to turn her car around. To drive back to school and just stay there with Brittany in their universe where they were safe together and free of anything that could possibly tear them apart. She knew her parents were going to love Brittany. I mean who wouldn't love her, right?

Santana couldn't stop herself from thinking about the other reality. What if her parents didn't love Brittany? What if they tried to break them apart? What if they were openly rude to her? What if…

Brittany reached over and intertwined Santana's right hand with her left and placed it in her lap. She looked at Santana, not at her. But through her. She saw the panic and the conflict Santana was experiencing. She saw the excitement she was trying to control. She also saw the breath that Santana released when she took her hand.

"Everything is going to be fine Santana."

"I know. I know. There's no reason why it wouldn't be."

"Hey," Brittany gently shook Santana's hand in hers, to get her full attention, "I'm serious. This is going to be a great week. I love you."

Santana's heart skipped. It was subtle. It hurt; it was also the best feeling in the world. "I love you too Britt. And you're right. We're going to have an amazing week. Together."

She pulled into the driveway of her family's two-story craftsman style home. The front door was framed by arches which were held in place by squared off pillars. A small front porch was an extension of a meticulously manicured lawn and extensive landscaping with beautiful potted plants and flowers. The house was welcoming but also intimidating.

Brittany suddenly had a little understanding for Santana's drive to be perfect at all times. It was something that Santana had never disclosed to her but she didn't need to say it. It was obvious in everything she did. How frustrated she gets when she studies. How upset she was that she couldn't find the time for classes and the school's glee club this semester. The fact that it takes her at least an hour to get ready, even when their plans are to sit around the house. It was something that Brittany thought was cute most of the time, but it was also exhausting to watch.

Santana led Brittany through the front door; they left their bags by the stairs and walked through the house.

"Mom?"

"I'm in the kitchen Santana."

She continued through the living room and into the kitchen. Santana's mother is a petite and beautiful woman who wore the smile of a proud mom when she wrapped her arms around her taller daughter.

"I'm so happy to see my baby girl. You look so skinny Santana, have you been eating? Don't worry I'll make some lunch for you."

"Mom, I've gained five pounds since Christmas. I'm fine, trust me."

"Okay, okay. I just want my baby to be healthy."

Brittany was standing quietly, and politely until Santana looked at her and smiled.

"Mom, this is Brittany. This is my girlfriend." She took a deep breath after those words left her lips. Honestly, she had been terrified of this day, but she was relieved to finally say those words out loud to her mother and have her mother respond with a smile directed at the girl that she loves.

"Brittany! It's so nice to meet you." She surprised Brittany by immediately pulling her into a hug. "Santana, why didn't you tell me how beautiful she is?"

"Mom!" Santana covered her face in embarrassment as she began to blush.

"What? She is, don't you think she's beautiful Santana? Why can't I say that?"

"Of course I think she's beautiful, she's the most beautiful person in the world."

"Aw, my baby's in love. Welcome to the familia Brittany. We are so happy to have you with us this week."

"Thank you. It's very nice to meet you Mrs. Lopez. Thank you for having me here."

"Mrs. Lopez? Oh, please call me Maribel!"

Brittany laughed. "Okay, thank you Maribel."

"That's better. Now why don't the two of you go get settled. I got the guest room ready for you Brittany."

Santana turned to her mom with a challenging look in her eye. "But mom…"

"I don't want to hear it Santana. If Brittany was a boy you know we wouldn't let you stay together. I don't see why it should be any different just because you're dating a girl."

Santana felt defeated that she and Brittany wouldn't be staying together but she also felt like she was on top of the world. Hearing her mom put something so plain, so black and white let her know that her parents really do love and accept her for who she is.

"Your dad will be home in a couple of hours, he had an emergency at the hospital. We were thinking we could take you girls to Breadsticks tonight. How does that sound?"

"It sounds great mom."

She gave her another hug and then turned around to take Brittany upstairs to her room and the guest room.

"I'm sorry about my mom. She gets…excited sometimes."

"I like her. You don't need to apologize for anything. You two are cute together."

Santana's bedroom was very dark. The walls were dark, the furniture was dark, and the pictures on the wall were dark. She had a faux white tiger rug in the middle of the room but that hardly brightened things up. The room reminded Brittany of the Santana she had seen with other people; the Santana that appears in stressful and trying situations. But the Santana that she knew; the beautiful, sweet, caring, considerate and loving person she knew was nowhere to be found in the room.

"I'm glad your dorm room isn't this dark. I think it would make me sad."

"Yeah, I used to kind of hide in here in high school. I don't have any reason to hide anymore though. So I agree, I'm glad my dorm room isn't this dark either."

Brittany took her bag to the guest room and took her time walking back down the hallway to Santana's room. She looked at the pictures that lined the walls. Santana as a toddler in a dance class. Santana around 9 years old with her birthday cake. Santana a couple of years after that standing with a blonde girl around the same age. Santana in high school in a cheerleader's outfit. And the final one was Santana standing on a stage with about a dozen other people holding a show choir national champions trophy. She felt like she was catching up on all of the things in Santana's life that she would never be there for.

They settled into Santana's room, Santana lying snug against Brittany while Brittany held Santana closer. Brittany asked about the pictures in the hallway and Santana took the time to explain when each one was from and where they were taken. She told Brittany the blonde in the middle school picture is her friend Quinn, who Brittany would meet tomorrow. She talked about the Cheerios in high school and how she had really only wanted to be on the team to be more popular. She didn't really like it that much. A goofy smile took over her face when she thought about the New Directions but she found the only thing she had to say about it was, "It was the best part of my day for 3 years. Those people became my family."

Their conversation had died out and they were breaths away from falling asleep when Santana heard the garage door open. She sat up and helped Brittany out of bed.

"I think we were supposed to be getting ready for dinner. Let's go see my dad and then we'll come back up and get ready."

They walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen where Santana's dad was embracing Maribel and added a quick kiss to the cheek. He turned towards Santana with a big smile and walked towards her to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well.

"It's so good to see you mija. You look more beautiful than the last time I saw you."

Santana giggled, she had always been a little bit of a daddy's girl. "Dad, you always say that!"

"That's because it's true. You know that I am not a liar Santana." He winked towards Brittany before he held his hand out. "You must be Brittany. I'm Martin. It's nice to finally meet you."

Brittany took his hand and shook it politely. "It's nice to meet you too."

"Can everyone be ready to leave for dinner in thirty minutes?"

* * *

><p>Santana and Brittany pulled up to Breadsticks for the second time in three days to meet Quinn for lunch.<p>

"So, is this like the only restaurant in town or something?"

"It might as well be. How about just the two of us go explore and find a new restaurant sometime this week?"

"I love that idea."

They went inside and their waitress took them to Santana and Quinn's usual booth towards the back of the restaurant.

They sat down and ordered drinks. Five minutes later Santana spotted Quinn walking in their direction.

"Late as usual."

"Shut up Santana, just because you're anal about being on time for everything in your entire life doesn't mean that I'm late."

Santana looked at her watch, 12:35pm.

"I would agree with you Quinn, but unfortunately for you, I'm always right."

"I don't know why I thought I might actually miss you."

They started laughing and hugged before Quinn sat down across from Santana and Brittany.

"This is my girlfriend, Brittany. Brittany, this is Quinn."

"Let me rephrase that for Santana, 'This is my best friend since elementary school, Quinn'."

The girls giggled together and the ice was instantly broken. Conversation was comfortable; the girls acted like it had been the three of them all along.

After they finished eating Brittany excused herself to go find the restrooms.

"How the hell did you convince her to go out with you? She's beautiful and hilarious. I think I might be in love with her."

"Back off Quinn!" Santana laughed, "And I got lucky. I love her so much."

"Okay. Who is this person and what did Brittany do to the Santana I know?"

"I don't know. It's weird isn't it? She's made me a better person. I'm happy and I'm calm…most of the time. You know I still go all Lima Heights when I have to but I don't find myself needing to do that as much anymore."

"I really like Brittany and this new Santana that she has created. Plus, seeing Santana Lopez completely whipped is hilarious."

"Oh, shut up Fabray!" Santana let a small smile form.

* * *

><p>That night Santana was tossing and turning in her bed. She had been lying in bed for 3 hours. She couldn't sleep. She kept looking at her door, she hated that Brittany was two doors down from her, so close and she couldn't be with her. She just wanted to hold her while they slept, to be close to her and for Brittany's smile to be the first thing she saw in the morning. It was moments like that that became Santana's favorite parts of the day. It was moments like that that made Santana's heart explode with joy. And it was moments like that that made Santana fall more in love with Brittany.<p>

She heard the bathroom door open and she couldn't stay put anymore. She walked out into the hallway at the same time Brittany opened the door.

"What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep, I just keep thinking about how I want to be with you."

"Aw, Santana." She walked over and hugged her tenderly; she took her hand and led her back into the guest bedroom.

Brittany climbed into the bed and motioned for Santana to join her. Santana slowly crawled into the bed, next to Brittany. She settled into the space between her shoulder and chest. The last thing she remembered before she fell asleep was Brittany whispering into her ear, "I love you Santana Lopez."

When they woke up the next morning Brittany placed a sweet kiss on Santana's forehead,

"Good morning."

"I love you too Brittany."

* * *

><p>Santana sat in her dorm room the following week, thinking about her time back home with Brittany. She didn't think it could have gone any better. Aside from the couple of jokes about Santana having a girlfriend from the guys from the Glee club at a party, everyone loved Brittany and was beyond supportive of the two of them. They had a few more dinners with her parents and they couldn't have accepted Brittany into the family any more than they did. She truly believed that her parents adored Brittany, which made her so grateful and filled her with joy. She couldn't stop smiling every time she thought about leaving her parent's house when both her mom and dad gave Brittany a hug and said they couldn't wait to see her again.<p>

The two of them spent more time with Quinn. Quinn and Brittany acted like they had been friends longer than Santana and Quinn have been. Santana and Brittany had gone driving around town to find a new restaurant for their date night. They settled on a little café that reminded Brittany of Hospitality Café. It was comfortable and the food was delicious. Santana loved the chance to have Brittany all to herself. It was one of the only chances they had all week to be alone.

Overall the week was perfect. Santana wouldn't have been able to imagine anything like this happening to her, even a year ago. She had come so far in her personal growth and she knew Brittany was a major reason behind it. She knew she would never be where she is right now if she had never met Brittany. She couldn't help but wish there was a way to freeze time so she could remember this feeling forever. But she changed her mind almost immediately, realizing that if she could freeze time she would miss so many other moments that were still to come with Brittany.

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><p><strong>stuffthingsandotherthings . tumblr . com<br>**


	9. Chapter 9

Santana greeted her girlfriend with a big smile and an even bigger hug. "How was your first day Britt? Tell me everything."

Brittany's eyes lit up and she smiled which caused her whole face to glow even more than usual. "It was great. All of the kids are so cute! There are eight four year olds in my class, the other teacher is really nice too, I think we'll get along really well. They all wanted to play all day, I was so happy when it was nap time because I needed a break too. There was this one really shy boy in class, Bryce, who had a nightmare during his nap, so I read him a story and let him have his snack early. He didn't leave my side for the rest of the day. He is so cute Santana, you would love him!"

Santana was laughing tenderly at Brittany's enthusiasm about her first day working at the local daycare. Brittany is naturally a passionate person but when she starts talking about something important to her she makes you feel every word and emotion as if they were your own. It makes Santana fall even more in love with her every time. She wrapped Brittany into another hug, she held on just a little bit tighter this time, and kissed her cheek, "I'm so glad your day went so well. You were a nervous wreck last night and I knew they would love you."

Santana didn't want to tell Brittany that she was a little nervous about today too. She was as encouraging and positive as possible, but she knew how excited Brittany had been to get the job and she hated the idea of seeing her disappointed.

"How about to celebrate we go get dinner and ice cream tonight?"

"Hmm... Well, dinner sounds good but I think I'd rather bring the ice cream home and spend some alone time with you." Brittany looked at Santana with a smirk and a suggestively raised eyebrow.

Santana was caught off guard; it was amazing to her that Brittany could still do that to her but she was able to regain composure quickly, "I think that can definitely be arranged Ms. Pierce."

After Brittany left, Santana stayed at Hospitality Café a little while longer. She was overwhelmed with joy for the day that her girlfriend had and the opportunity that she has been given. With Brittany starting her job she was growing anxious about the internship that she was going to start later in the month. She didn't really want to work this summer but her parents insisted that if she stayed at school for summer session she had to do something, so her dad called in a favor and before Santana had any say in it she was set up at the local news station.

She knew finding extra time with Brittany would be difficult once her internship started so she wanted to enjoy the next couple of weeks with Brittany, a smirk crept slowly across her face as her thoughts flashed back to Brittany's words, 'alone time with you.' A small, quick shiver ran down her spine and she laughed quietly at herself, she never thought someone would have an effect like this on her. Even more than that, she never thought that she would enjoy it so much.

They reveled in a leisurely dinner on Main Street before heading to the store. The girls took their time at the market picking up all of the supplies necessary for a perfect ice cream sundae, playfully arguing about the best toppings and their favorite brands. Before walking to the register Santana added a movie that she wanted to see, hoping to get some cuddle time with Brittany later.

They walked straight into Brittany's kitchen and Santana began putting away the ice cream and groceries.

She was startled when Brittany turned her around and pinned her against the kitchen counter. Brittany kissed her hard and deep. Santana's breath escaped her. Brittany pulled back long enough to whisper seductively in Santana's ear. "Do you know what my favorite part about staying at school for the summer is?"

Santana shook her head slowly as she was trying to catch up to what was happening.

"No roommates." She snatched the hem of Santana's shirt and pulled it over her head, taking one of her breasts in her palm as she kissed her with more desperation than before.

Santana braced herself against the counter as her knees started to give slightly. Brittany pulled back and without warning walked away and into her room leaving Santana shirtless, ridiculously turned on and alone in the middle of the kitchen.

She took a couple of deep breaths to steady herself and grabbed two bowls to begin building the sundaes when Brittany came back into the kitchen.

"I don't think the bowls will be necessary."

"Wha…What do you mean?"

Brittany grabbed her hand and led her into her bedroom. She pushed Santana onto her bed and climbed on top pushing her towards the headboard while continuing to kiss her. Brittany pinned Santana's arms above her head and quickly tied them together with a scarf that Brittany had placed strategically by the bed.

"Brittany?" Santana squeaked out her name in a whisper.

When Brittany looked at her she gave her a quick but certain look filled with love and caring, then a smirk appeared as she pulled out another scarf, "Shhh." She blindfolded Santana and left a small peck on her lips before she got off of the bed and left Santana alone again.

Her mind was racing, she was shivering, her senses were heightened and her body was awakened. There was nothing she could do but wait for Brittany to return.

After a few painfully long minutes Santana was alarmed by something cold placed on her torso, she gasped just as something hot immediately followed which caused a small moan to creep from her. Brittany's tongue followed causing tiny goosebumps. She moved up and when she kissed Santana, Santana could tell that it was the ice cream and hot fudge that they had purchase. The flavors mixed with the taste of Brittany's tongue and the smell of arousal was becoming intoxicating and her hips bucked slightly.

Brittany laughed seductively as she continued to tease all of Santana's senses. Hot. Cold. Sticky. Moist. Every time Brittany licked something off of her body she would kiss Santana letting her taste the flavors that lingered on her tongue. Santana was close to a breaking point when she heard Brittany whisper again.

"Are you ready for your next surprise?"

Santana hesitated, partly out of frustration and partly out of excitement. She nodded and felt Brittany climb off the bed leaving her tied up and waiting again.

Brittany untied her blindfold and Santana let out a little moan when she saw what was in front of her. Brittany was completely undressed except for a dark purple strap-on attached to a black leather harness.

"Brittany, when did you go get that?"

Brittany just smiled and moved on top of Santana. She flicked her tongue playfully over one of Santana's nipples and her hips bucked again. Brittany smiled into her breast as she took her nipple into her mouth continuing to tease. She left a trail of kisses and light bites as she worked her way down between her thighs. She began massaging her center with her thumb as she left playful kisses on the inside of Santana's thighs trying to tease as long as possible. Before she even touched Santana she knew she was extremely wet and she couldn't wait to taste her. Brittany's own arousal was growing by the second and didn't know how much longer she could continue to torture Santana.

She finally dragged her tongue slowly through Santana's folds and took her clit into her mouth. Santana moaned deeply and jerked. She tried to get her hands out of the restraints that Brittany had put her in so she could grab onto Brittany and take control. As soon as Brittany inserted the dildo into her she stopped messing with the scarf. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as Brittany began to gently pump in and out of her.

Brittany began to find a rhythm and started pumping harder as she moved back and forth between her nipples, toying with them with her fingers and her tongue. As Santana's moans grew more strained she moved up and took her lips into hers, sucked her bottom lip and Santana screamed into Brittany as she orgasmed.

Her entire body fell limp and she whimpered as she tried to catch her breath.

"God Britt…" she looked into Brittany's eyes, the passion between them consuming everything in the room.

They spent the night exploring each other in new ways before they collapsed into each other's arms.

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><p>Santana was enjoying her internship more than she had expected to. She thought it would be nothing other than making copies and getting coffee for arrogant news reporters but they were letting her get involved with all sides of the news. Her favorite part of her day was getting to research the potential stories. She loved it when a piece of information that she found ended up on the broadcast. It gave her a sense of pride, a sense of importance and just the slightest hint of power.<p>

After a long day at the news station Santana checked her cell phone, she had 3 missed calls and one text message. All from Brittany. Her stomach dropped, knowing she had messed up before she even read the message. How could she possibly be so stupid? So preoccupied that she forgot?

_Santana, did you forget about our date night? I've barely seen you all week, and you promised. I'm at the restaurant at our usual table…_

The time on the message said it was sent at 7:35, she glanced at the time, 8:18. She felt sick as she gathered her belongings into her purse and flew out of the station and to her car. She sped down the road towards Main Street, ignoring a stop sign and instantly seeing Police lights pull behind her. She veered to her right and cursed as she tried to hold back silent, frustrated tears.

The officer let her leave with just a warning, but he took at least ten precious minutes away from her. She parallel parked across from the restaurant and ran across the street, dodging traffic. When she stormed through the restaurant door, their favorite waiter John was standing at the host stand.

"Is she still here?!"

John looked uncomfortable as he answered, "No, she left about thirty minutes ago…"

"_Shit!"_ Santana whispered loudly to herself, she didn't say anything else as she exited the restaurant and ran back to her car.

On her way to Brittany's apartment she stopped at the market and picked up the most expensive flower bouquet that she could find. She knew it wasn't much, but it was a start. She wished she had asked if Brittany ate or not, so she could at least pick something up for them if she didn't, but she was having trouble thinking clearly.

Brittany answered the door, it was obvious that she had been crying but her eyes were dry now. She narrowed her gaze at Santana and at the flowers, she didn't accept them though.

"Where were you?"

"I'm so sorry Britt, I lost track of time at the station. I was researching this story and it was fascinating and I had no idea what time it was, I wouldn't ever do that to you on purpose. I feel awful."

"I don't think that there is any way that you could possibly feel as bad as I did still at that table for over an hour by myself. And then you show up with flowers, tell me you forgot about me and expect me to act like everything is okay?"

Santana didn't know what to do, she knew the flowers wouldn't fix this but she wasn't expecting quite this big of a reaction from Brittany. She opened her mouth to talk again but Brittany cut her off.

"I don't have anything else to say right now Santana, can we just talk later?"

"Brittany…"

"Please Santana, I need some time."

Brittany closed the door; Santana placed the flowers at the foot of the door and turned around slowly to leave. Two steps towards her car and her entire body was shaking violently with tears. She drove home and immediately climbed into her bed, laying in the dark, crying.

She called in sick to work the next few days, and missed all of her classes. She tried calling Brittany every few hours, hoping this time would be the time that she was ready to talk. Santana felt like she had ruined the greatest thing that had ever happened to her. She avoided everyone and everything over the weekend. Not having the energy to worry about anything other than Brittany.

She finally dragged herself out of bed for her two Monday morning classes, she wasn't herself but she was going to go crazy if she spent one more day in bed.

Monday afternoon she walked into the news station, shoulders and head down, not making eye contact with anyone as she moped to her cubicle. Before she made it to her desk the producer of the show stopped her frantically, saying something about accident and Michelle and go to make-up.

_What the hell is happening? Santana, pay attention!_ She thought to herself as she tried to focus.

"I'm sorry sir, what?"

"Santana! Michelle got into a car accident, she can't make it in, we have time to fill on air, we need you to run a story for us tonight, go to make-up and we will fill you in before the broadcast!"

_If you can, watch the 6:00 news tonight. I Love you. -S_

She took a deep breath still trying to calm down from the excitement. She hadn't planned on actually being on the news during her internship but with Melissa out, they were desperate.

She was surprised at how much she enjoyed covering the story, the extra research she had to do, the make-up and hair, the adrenaline rush of knowing the camera is rolling and she wasn't going to lie, she loved the praise she was getting from everyone.

This was a career path that she had never considered before but she felt like she found something that she could see herself doing. Something she wouldn't hate waking up in the morning for.

Seconds after her segment aired her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Oh my god! Santana! What? How? Why didn't you tell me you were going to be on the news?"

"I didn't know it was going to happen until I got here today. Melissa was sick and they asked me to fill in. Was it okay? Did I look like an idiot?"

They were both laughing; Santana took her first easy breath in almost a week.

"You were brilliant. And without a doubt the sexiest news reporter I have ever seen. I can't wait to brag to people about you!"

Santana could feel her cheeks flush, knowing that Brittany was truly happy for her and proud of her was the greatest feeling she could imagine.

She got to her dorm and was starting to unwind after the long, eventful day when there was a knock on her door. Brittany was standing there with a bunch of Congratulations balloons, she smiled shyly and asked if she could come in.


End file.
